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A deranged cook at a Chinese restaurant attacks you violently with a meat cleaver after you complain about your meal.
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The Welsh support two teams when it comes to rugby. Wales of course, and anyone else playing England
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While on a group tour of a candy factory, you fall over a guardrail and land on a taffy pulling machine. Your head, torso, and legs are ripped into three separate sections.
OK...better stay away from candy factories
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.Comment
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Tony: I fingered around in the only electric socket in my grandmother's flat that wasn't child-protected
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After miraculously surviving a would-be fatal car crash, your life support system is unplugged by the hospital maid, because she needs an outlet in which to plug her vacuum.
and I always thought it would be that I was working on a stone or steel sculpture and it would fall on me
Wikipedia and Google.... the needles to my tangent habit.
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That special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, Or maybe below the cockles, Maybe in the sub-cockle area, Maybe in the liver, Maybe in the kidneys, Maybe even in the colon, We don't know.Comment
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Just for fun, i tried a few names:
Santa: You slide down the wrong family's chimney, and you're beaten to death by a drunken man with your own sack of toys.
Jesus: You were nailed to a cross. It looked painful!
Death: We're here to talk about you, not me. Besides, I'm already dead.
George W Bush: The Death Psychic does not get involved in matters of politics.Laptops: ASUS G750JM: Intel Core i7 4700HQ, 8GB RAM (DDR3-1600), Nvidia GTX 860M, 1 x Samsung 840 EVO 250GB SSD, 1 x WD 750 GB HDD, 17,3" FHD Screen, Windows 8.1 64-bit.
ASUS Vivobook S400CA: Intel Core i5 3317U (1,7-2,6 GHz), 8 GB RAM (DDR3-1600), Intel HD4000, 1 x 500GB HDD, 14" touch-screen (1366x768), Windows 8.1 64-bit.Comment
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While attempting to remove a slice of burnt toast from your toaster using a metal fork, you're electrocuted.
Dammit, even flash games insult my intelligence!
tried it again using my user handle:
While grocery shopping, a can of soup falls from above your head and strikes you in the face. You sue the grocery store, and upon hearing that you've won a large cash settlement, you suffer a massive heart attack and fall to the ground dead.
Slightly better...
And with just my initials:
In a case of mistaken identity, you are shot to death by the mob.
That would be just my luck.
KevinComment
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Enraged by your accusations of incompetence, a deranged cable installer beats you to death with his crimping tool.
funny..Comment
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A lit cigarette is dropped in your car while you're driving. While you're attempting to pick it up, you veer into oncoming traffic. You are struck by a speeding truck and are killed instantly.RC Agent
AMD Athlon 64 X2 5000+ Brisbane 2.6GHz, MSI 785GT-E63, 6 GB(2x1GB, 2x2GG) DDR2 800 Corsair XMS2, Asus EAH4850 TOP
AMD Athlon 64 X2 7750 Kuma 2.7GHz, ASRock A790GXH/128M BIOS 1.7, 4 GB(2x2GB) DDR2 800 Corsair XMS2, Gigabyte HD 6850 1GB DDR5
AMD Phenom II X6 1045T 2.7GHz, Asus M5A99FX Pro R2.0 BIOS 2501 , 8GB(2x4GB) DDR3 1866 CL9 Crucial BallisticX(BLT4G3D1869DT1TX0) , Sapphire HD7870 2GB GDDR5 OC, Seasonic 850w powers supplyComment
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Uhmmm...
A gang of midgets wraps you in plastic wrap and proceeds to cook you with a hair dryer. You are slowly squeezed to death as the plastic wrap shrinks around your body.
The accusations part would about fit, right?Originally posted by KvHagedorn
Last edited by Nowhere; 13 February 2006, 17:11.
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Damned useless Koi!While leaving a Chinese restaurant, you suffer fatal cardiac arrest and collapse into a pond of frantic Koi.
P.S. You've been Spanked!Comment
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If it is carp they will save you instead.Originally posted by schmosefDamned useless Koi!Gigabyte GA-K8N Ultra 9, Opteron 170 Denmark 2x2Ghz, 2 GB Corsair XMS, Gigabyte 6600, Gentoo Linux
Motion Computing M1400 -- Tablet PC, Ubuntu Linux
"if I said you had a beautiful body would you take your pants off and dance around a bit?" --Zapp BranniganComment
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Highly unlikely, as I hardly ever drink...While drunk with friends, you fall down a flight of stairs and break your neck. Thinking you've simply passed out, your friends ignore your lifeless body for hours.
My username gave:
Me? On a group tour?While on a group tour of a candy factory, you fall over a guardrail and land on a taffy pulling machine. Your head, torso, and legs are ripped into three separate sections.
JörgComment
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While walking to your car after visiting a friend in a rather bad part of town, you are caught in the middle of a drive-by shooting. You are hit several times in the chest. You watch as blood pours from your body as you fall to the ground. You die from massive blood loss.
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Yikes. off to get that removed now...You die from a ruptured spleen.Comment
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You are the victim of a home robbery and are shot in the head several times at point blank range while you're asleep.According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless..
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