Elderly Parent

[The PIT]

As some of you may know I live with my Mother who is showing signs of what looks like Alzheimers.

Theres certainly has been a steady decline with her short time memory. She can't remember pin numbers even though they're her birthdate she asks me every morning whats she supposed to be doing and then asks again and possibly several more times.

At least theres no massive swings where for several weeks she would be fine then suddenly drop like a stone to near total confusion.

To give me a break and unless you do this yourself you won't realise how mentally tiring it is (Note not physical) she went to her sisters for a week. I drove down Saturday last and on Sunday I started a heavy cold which I still haven't got rid off. So thats really two weeks Holiday down the drain.

This week she's been to the memory clinic for some further testing and too see what the problem is. Yesterday evening she was refusing to go so I was confronted with the possibility that all the hard work and battling to get the appointment may end up as complete waste of time. I still didn't know until we got to the clinic this afternoon whether she was going to go ahead with the tests or not. Anyway in the end she did and she needs to go for a Brain scan as well in a few weeks. We then have another appointment at the clinic in September when we'll know the truth.

At the moment she's sat downstairs and she hasn't a clue why she went to the clinic and keeps asking why. At the moment I prefer not to answer and even if I did she'd forget anyway.

So at the moment I'm feeling mentally drained and tired out. So much for a break.

[schmosef]

wow that really sucks. i feel for you.

[Dr Mordrid]

If Alzheimers get her on the meds ASAP. They do help, if just a little.

I see that recently if was found that early detection can be done by looking for a particular protein in the spinal fluid, even decades before symptoms show.

Dr. Mordrid

[ZokesPro]

I have a suggestion that might help you, The PIT but I don't want to post it publicly.

Anyways, I do understand a tiny bit of what your feeling. I hope things get better soon.

[The PIT]

Well at the moment I've just got to wait. The worst thing if it is Alzheimers she can only get worse which is something I'm not looking forward too.

One thing I do know is that I must keep my head as clear as possible which really means no drinking sessions etc. Luckily my main drinking friends accept this and understand it. Not quiet so lucky with some a met a few years ago as they're used to heavy drinker and can't understand shandies etc.

[ZokesPro]

Well, my suggestion involves a certain illicit plant, but I would never suggest to drink.

[The PIT]

Well, my suggestion involves a certain illicit plant, but I would never suggest to drink.

If I think I what I think it is nope it's not good idea.

[ZokesPro]

If I think I what I think it is nope it's not good idea.

That's fine. Helps some people relax but it's not for everyone. Anyways, I hope you can find something that'll help recharge you mentally.

[Sasq]

TP, try valerian (sp?) root, should be able to get it in a chemist, or health food store.
Just has a nice mild relaxing effect, usually used as a sleep aid, but can also just help take the edge off during the day.

[ZokesPro]

TP, try valerian (sp?) root, should be able to get it in a chemist, or health food store.
Just has a nice mild relaxing effect, usually used as a sleep aid, but can also just help take the edge off during the day.

Yup, helps when you can't slep too, stuff is great.

Gurm recommended it to me.

[Gurm]

With all the time and effort you've spent on this, you should have just hopped on a plane, flown here, and gotten a real diagnosis... in a fraction of the time.

But seriously, when you DO get the diagnosis, have you given any thought to what's going to happen then? I'm not saying this to be cruel or callous, but you CAN'T take care of her for long by yourself, if it starts going downhill. I've seen this plenty of times, and it's always heartbreaking but eventually you are going to have to consider how she'll be cared for - and you can't throw your life away once she goes past a certain point.

[degrub]

i sympathize what you are going through. My dad is at about the end after 5 years. One other thing that can cause the same symptoms are small strokes in the frontal lobe - physical not really a problem, mental - watch our for anxiety, anger, and rage - those can be managed with meds- antipsychotics. Took my dad a couple years to get through it. A brain scan- CT, if i remember correctly can give a clue to where the damage is. You might check to see if there is a research programme nearby that would provide diagnosis and support and perhaps meds. i wish you good luck. It will change day by day. It's not her, but the disease.

[agallag]

This is the one disease that's much worse on the family members than on the one with the disease. My mother works in a nursing home, and she sees it every day. Make sure you cherish every day you have with her now. If it turns out she does have Alzheimers, she won't be herself for much longer.

[The PIT]

With all the time and effort you've spent on this, you should have just hopped on a plane, flown here, and gotten a real diagnosis... in a fraction of the time.

But seriously, when you DO get the diagnosis, have you given any thought to what's going to happen then? I'm not saying this to be cruel or callous, but you CAN'T take care of her for long by yourself, if it starts going downhill. I've seen this plenty of times, and it's always heartbreaking but eventually you are going to have to consider how she'll be cared for - and you can't throw your life away once she goes past a certain point.

Well once she gets diagnosed and theres still a chance that it may not Alzheimers, not that I'm expecting any different to be honest it will open other doors that presently locked shut.
You got to remember this is a Don't care in the Community Society and the NHS will try as long as possible to leave her with me.

Once we have a diagnosis it will also be family time. I don't think my other Sister in Sheffield has realised if that I'm ill she's going to have come over and possibly stay.

The biggest problem is stress and getting the relaxation I need. Being a naturally stressed person doesn't help much either. Today I got away for the day and what a differance. Feel tons better for it.

[The PIT]

This is the one disease that's much worse on the family members than on the one with the disease. My mother works in a nursing home, and she sees it every day. Make sure you cherish every day you have with her now. If it turns out she does have Alzheimers, she won't be herself for much longer.

Thats what the Doctors said. Mother will probably carry on regardless what they've got to do is look after the carer.