Is there a bigger lie?

[ZokesPro]

That's the current situation. Luckily I have the unfortunate benefit of hindsight.

Always bitching about her boyfriend, should I or shouldn't I leave him, who she fancies at work, how her family is splitting up. Is she pretty, all this stuff. She says that i'm 'nice' and 'funny'. I feel like entertainment.

I'm gonna move on before it destroys me.

I've been in that situation a few times. Your nothing more than her crutch unfortunetely. Once things get better she'll toss you out like trash, at least that's what happened everytime to me. Moving on is a good choice in this case.

[Fluff]

Zokes,

What have you done about it?

[ND66]

Moving on is a good choice in this case.

Moving on is a good choice in “most” of the cases, hanging around with just a hope for a miracle is nothing more then a sentimental wish.

The sooner you’ll get over it, the sooner you have a chance to meat a girl that will that will have more in mind then just a friendship.

.

[ZokesPro]

Moving on is a good choice in “most” of the cases, hanging around with just a hope for a miracle is nothing more then a sentimental wish.

The sooner you’ll get over it, the sooner you have a chance to meat a girl that will that will have more in mind then just a friendship.

.

I was trying to find a way to say just that. You can stay and listen to her bitch about her boyfriend, if that's the kind of torture your looking for. In the end you'll most likely end up where you started, so it's best to move on.

But to answer your quesiton Fluff, I've tried many things. Taking them out to the movies, at the restaurant, to the bar, to mini-putt and in the end it just helps her clear her mind and find her path, which almost never included me. And in the end, I had to move on, it was just harder the longer I waited.

[Fluff]

Zokes,

Don't like torture. Cheers for the advice.

Found some advice from a female perspective on the internet for this. From this thread.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=72276

Your advice is okay if a girl is already interested in a guy, but I don't think any of that advice would do any good for a guy I wasn't interested in who was already a friend. Most of it would creep me out and make me feel uncomfortable around him, especially if he was trying to hold my hand or kiss me.

And if you're not a woman's friend yet, but she says she only wants to be friends, there's nothing you can do but tell her you don't want to be just friends, then get out immediately if she still wants just friends. Anything else will get you nowhere.

I think the best chance a guy has at moving out of the "friend zone" once he's already in is to treat the woman just like his guy friends (well, not just like them). By that, I mean
-not going out of his way to do things for her
-not getting all mushy around her
-not asking to redefine the relationship
-not making a move until she actually offers signals
-don't pay for her dinner, movie, etc. once she's made it clear you're just friends

He should
-act interested in her but not too interested
-treat her with respect
-date other girls
-casually flirt with her
-slip in some occassional sexual inuendo
-have a life

The only thing I can see your advice doing for a guy who's already in the dreaded "friend zone" is get him rejected sooner instead of later, which I suppose does get him out of that "friend zone".


Quote:
Originally Posted by slubberdegullion
If you're comfortable with being her therapist, driver, bank and all the rest with no expectation of sexual reward, then fine. But if not, you'd better move on.


No offense, but that's dumb. None of my friends, male or female are my therapist, driver, bank, etc. I drive my guy friends around and buy them things just as much as I do my female friends. A guy can be a girl's friend and not be her doormat. He just has to have some balls and realize that all the sucking up the world isn't going to get him to boyfriend status. After the first few times of taking a girl out, if she's not interested or gives you the friends talk (and you'd like to be friends with her), let her pay for herself. If she can't accept that, she's not worth being friends with.

I agree that if you can't accept being a friend, you should move on, but friend doesn't mean doormat.
__________________
"It's better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you're not."

[az]

Especially her last paragraph (and the last line) are quite wise; the rest is good, too.

And who says one can't be friends with a girl one has fallen for. Of course one can, everybody can. It'll just not lead to anything more, and in most cases it's simply not worth it. You can still be her friend if she's that cool of a person once you've found somebody else to have sex with.

[ND66]

In real life a true male & female friendship doesn't exist too long.
Sooner or later they turn into lovers or just start hating each other.

I've seen many of my friends marriages go down the drain because of the “true” male/female friendship.

In 3 cases in the past few years, a guy has moved in with his best friend wife & the other 2, the girl did seduce the husband of their best girlfriend.

And the friendship was more then 10 years old & it did involve the best friend or the best girlfriend.


.

[GT98]

In real life a true male & female friendship doesn't exist too long.
Sooner or later they turn into lovers or just start hating each other.

I have to agree with this..the only form of male/female plotonic relationship that works in my experance is just someone you talk to once in a while over an IM sesson or whatever. As long as you dont see them in person, thats the only way it works. I talk to a couple girls who I dated/met last year though online dating, but I haven't seen any of them in over 6-8 months in person.

I had another friend who was friend with benifits and well I never saw anything coming out of it and it ended pretty badly the end of last year after a year or so of doing that. She took it pretty badly, but I wasn't interested in her any more then mindless sex

[ND66]

I have to agree with this..the only form of male/female plotonic relationship that works in my experance is just someone you talk to once in a while over an IM sesson or whatever. As long as you dont see them in person, thats the only way it works. I talk to a couple girls who I dated/met last year though online dating, but I haven't seen any of them in over 6-8 months in person.

.... or if one of them is a gay or lesbian ....


.

[az]

I agree that friends with benefits will almost always lead to some kind of paradigm shift in the relationship at one point or another for at least one of the parties involved (wow, I should become a politician!). I must say though that I think a true friendship can hold between a male and a female. I have a female friend who is like a sister to me, and while she holds me in very high regard, she certainly doesn't love me as a man (I had the hots for her in the past, but that's the past, and to be honest, I can't understand what I saw in her then ).

[Nowhere]

Just remembering what Chris Rock's response to when a girl said that she wants to be friends....

Was that perhaps in some movie?