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  • Quick Thinking

    A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for all the major status figures in Rome, Italy. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket she was handing him to gather some snails.

    Very grudgingly, he agreed.

    He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails, he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself, wouldn't it be great if she would just come down and talk to me...but he went back to gathering the snails.

    All of a sudden, he looked up and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They got to talking and she invited him back to her place, just down the beach.

    They were at her apartment and they started messing around. It got so hot and heavy that he was exhausted afterwards and passed out there.

    At seven o'clock the next morning, he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh no! My wife's dinner party!" He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door.

    He ran down the beach, all the way to his condo. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all the way down the stairs!

    Just then the door opened, with a very angry wife standing in the doorway wondering where he'd been all this time.

    He looked at the snails on the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said, "Come on guys, we're almost there!"
    Chuck
    秋音的爸爸

  • #2
    Hehe.
    Titanium is the new bling!
    (you heard from me first!)

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    • #3
      rofl

      I wonder if that kind of excuse really works
      Asus H97 Pro Gamer| Intel i5 4690K| Noctua NH-U9B SE2 | Gigabyte GTX 1060 Windforce 3GB | Soundblaster ZxR | 8 GB Kingston HyperX Genesis DDR3 1600| LG 24 MP88HV-S

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      • #4
        There's an Opera in my macbook.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Lambo-Fan
          rofl

          I wonder if that kind of excuse really works
          Not married, are you?
          The Internet - where men are men, women are men, and teenage girls are FBI agents!

          I'm the least you could do
          If only life were as easy as you
          I'm the least you could do, oh yeah
          If only life were as easy as you
          I would still get screwed

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Gurm
            Not married, are you?
            Definately not. I'll tell you a story about my brother, which is totally true, and explains about how well excuses work.

            My sister-in-law is pregnent and is in the cravings phase. One night my brother gets home from 6 hours of school and 8 hours of work and she looks at my brother, hands him a ten dollar bill, and says, "I want plain, green, mint ice cream."

            My brother, not being a fool, takes the money and heads to the nearest grocery store. After searching through every cannister of ice cream he finds no plain, green mint. So he calls home and says, "there is green mint chocolate chip, but no plain..."

            "I want plain ... green ... mint ... ice cream!"

            Of he goes to the next store...and the next one...and the next one. As any ice cream lover in the US knows, this a fruitless effort, because no one sells plain green mint ice cream. It always has chocolate in it.

            Finally he goes to Dairy Queen (a soft server ice cream establishment) and pays over $6 to have them custom make a quart of plain green mint ice cream. Having finally succeeded, he rushed home and hands his wife the fruits of well over an hour of searching unsuccessfully to fulfill her pregnant desire. And how is he rewarded?

            "What took so long? Where's the rest of the change?"

            True story.

            Jammrock
            “Inside every sane person there’s a madman struggling to get out”
            –The Light Fantastic, Terry Pratchett

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            • #7
              Well at least human females don't kill and eat their mates after copulation like black widows and praying mantises.

              Hunting down mint ice cream and putting up with her crap is not as painful as having his baby will be, so I suppose things even out. I'm convinced cravings are a subconscious manifestation of the "I need you to prove you love me" instinct, made more powerful by pregnancy.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by KvHagedorn
                I'm convinced cravings are a subconscious manifestation of the "I need you to prove you love me" instinct, made more powerful by pregnancy.
                You've never been married to a pregnant woman have you? Women have other ways to do that. Cravings are cravings ... and they can be viciously powerful. Thus I was at Bojangles at 20:30 last night.
                “Inside every sane person there’s a madman struggling to get out”
                –The Light Fantastic, Terry Pratchett

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                • #9
                  Maybe it's a test to find out if you're capable of staying up all night to care for the child
                  There's an Opera in my macbook.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Gurm
                    Not married, are you?
                    Actually I am married.
                    Asus H97 Pro Gamer| Intel i5 4690K| Noctua NH-U9B SE2 | Gigabyte GTX 1060 Windforce 3GB | Soundblaster ZxR | 8 GB Kingston HyperX Genesis DDR3 1600| LG 24 MP88HV-S

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