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Top 20 Things that Never Happen on Star Trek
20 - Most things that are new or in some way unexpected.
19 - Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of about one in three sentences that anyone says to him.
18 - Wesley Crusher gets beaten up by his classmates for being a smarmy git, and consequently has a go at making some friends of his own age for a change.
17 - The warp engines start playing up a bit, but seem to sort themselves out after a while without any intervention from boy genius Wesley Crusher.
16 - Counsellor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious.
15 - The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without a serious incident.
14 - Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits, and isn't tragically separated from her at the end of the episode.
13 - The Enterprise visits an earth-type planet called "Paradise" where everyone is happy all of the time. However, everything is soon revealed to be exactly what it seems.
12 - The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence which they easily pacify by offering it some sweeties.
11 - The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence which does not put them on trial.
10 - The Enterprise runs into a energy field of a type it has encountered several times before.
9 - The Enterprise goes to visit a remote outpost of scientists, who are all perfectly alright.
8 - Some of the crew visits the holodeck and it works properly.
7 - The crew of the Enterprise discovers a totally new lifeform, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old life-form wearing a funny hat.
6 - The crew of the Enterprise is afflicted by a mysterious plague, for which the only cure can be found in the well-stocked enterpise sick bay.
5 - The captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.
4 - An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface with the Enterprise's computer, only to find it has forgotten to bring the right leads.
3 - A power surge on the bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly trained and competent engineering staff.
2 - A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction.
1 - The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp experience which is in some way unconnected to the late 20th century.
19 - Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of about one in three sentences that anyone says to him.
18 - Wesley Crusher gets beaten up by his classmates for being a smarmy git, and consequently has a go at making some friends of his own age for a change.
17 - The warp engines start playing up a bit, but seem to sort themselves out after a while without any intervention from boy genius Wesley Crusher.
16 - Counsellor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious.
15 - The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without a serious incident.
14 - Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits, and isn't tragically separated from her at the end of the episode.
13 - The Enterprise visits an earth-type planet called "Paradise" where everyone is happy all of the time. However, everything is soon revealed to be exactly what it seems.
12 - The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence which they easily pacify by offering it some sweeties.
11 - The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence which does not put them on trial.
10 - The Enterprise runs into a energy field of a type it has encountered several times before.
9 - The Enterprise goes to visit a remote outpost of scientists, who are all perfectly alright.
8 - Some of the crew visits the holodeck and it works properly.
7 - The crew of the Enterprise discovers a totally new lifeform, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old life-form wearing a funny hat.
6 - The crew of the Enterprise is afflicted by a mysterious plague, for which the only cure can be found in the well-stocked enterpise sick bay.
5 - The captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.
4 - An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface with the Enterprise's computer, only to find it has forgotten to bring the right leads.
3 - A power surge on the bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly trained and competent engineering staff.
2 - A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction.
1 - The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp experience which is in some way unconnected to the late 20th century.
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