Three Knots

[Fat Tone]

An old retired sailor put on his uniform and heads for the docks once more for old times sake.

He engages a prostitute and takes her up to a room. He's soon going at it as well as he can for a guy of his age but needing some reassurance, he asked, "How am I doing?"

The prostitute replies "Well old sailor your doing about 3 knots!

3 knots? he asked, what's that supposed to mean?

She says "Your knot hard your knot in and your knot getting your money back



NOT LONG TO LIVE

A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete check-up. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left."

"Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?"

"Ten," the doctor says sadly.

"Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!"

The doctor interrupts, "Nine....."

[Brian Ellis]

There was a sailor from York who was extremely well endowed. Ever since he joined the navy, he tried to engage a prostitute in each port where he landed, but the ladies always declined his services as soon as they saw the size of his attributes. One day, as they were approaching Portsmouth, he decided to play the game of subtilty. He saw a nice young thing offering her services and they went up to her room. He said to her, hesitatingly, "Look, I'm awfully shy, would you mind if we undressed in the dark?"

Unfazed by this, she switched the light off and they proceeded to prepare themselves. As he climbed onto the bed, she asked, "Where are you from, dearie."

"York."

"Oh! That's funny, I've had sailors from Chatham, sailors from Southampton, sailors from Rosyth, but I've never had a sailor from York!"

[ND66]

...

keep it comming..... .


.

[schmosef]

There was a sailor from York who was extremely well endowed. Ever since he joined the navy, he tried to engage a prostitute in each port where he landed, but the ladies always declined his services as soon as they saw the size of his attributes. One day, as they were approaching Portsmouth, he decided to play the game of subtilty. He saw a nice young thing offering her services and they went up to her room. He said to her, hesitatingly, "Look, I'm awfully shy, would you mind if we undressed in the dark?"

Unfazed by this, she switched the light off and they proceeded to prepare themselves. As he climbed onto the bed, she asked, "Where are you from, dearie."

"York."

"Oh! That's funny, I've had sailors from Chatham, sailors from Southampton, sailors from Rosyth, but I've never had a sailor from York!"

Is there some double entendre on the word "York" I'm not getting? I assume she yells out because that's the point he sails into her harbour, so to speak, but I can't help but feeling that there's something to this joke I'm not getting.

[lowlifecat]

maybe only people from Portsmouth get it