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  • Mother-in-law jokes

    My mother-in-law asked, "If you don't like me, why do you take me on holidays with you?" I told her, "So I don't have to kiss you good-bye."

    I was out shopping the other day when I saw six women beating my mother-in-law up. As I stood there and watched, her neighbor, who knew me, said, "Well, aren't you going to help?" I replied, "No. Six of them is enough".

    Two men were in a pub. One says to his mate, "My mother-in-law is an angel." His friend replies, "You're lucky. Mine is still alive."

    Q: How do you stop your mother-in-law from drowning?

    A: Take your foot off her head.

    My mother-in-law asked me, "If you hate me so much, why is my photo on the mantelpiece (the shelf above the open fireplace)?" I told her, "So as to keep the kids away from the fire."

    My mother-in-law said to me, "I'll dance on your grave." I said, "I hope you do. I'm being buried at sea."

    I always know when it's the mother-in-law knocking at the door – the mice throw themselves in the traps.

    The doorbell rang this morning. When I opened the door, there was my mother-in-law on the front step.
    She said, "Can I stay here for a few days?"
    I said, "Sure you can." And shut the door in her face.

    The definition of mixed emotions - seeing your mother-in-law drive over the cliff in your new car.
    Brian (the devil incarnate)

  • #2
    emmmmm, if "my freind" thinks his MIL is a MILF, is he considered a pervert ? no room for leniency?
    Originally posted by Gurm
    .. some very fair skinned women just have a nasty brown crack no matter what...

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    • #3
      Depends. Pix?
      There's an Opera in my macbook.

      Comment


      • #4
        Without pix it's impossible to say.
        Titanium is the new bling!
        (you heard from me first!)

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        • #5
          I can't stress to you how important pix are. az and zokes are right.
          Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.

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          • #6
            pics, pics, pics.
            Yeah, well I'm gonna build my own lunar space lander! With blackjack aaaaannd Hookers! Actually, forget the space lander, and the blackjack. Ahhhh forget the whole thing!

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            • #7
              Pics are indeed needed. Plus, have we forgotten the rule? Before marrying look at the mother.. that's what you're wife will look like in 20-30 years. If you're scared... run away
              Wikipedia and Google.... the needles to my tangent habit.
              ________________________________________________

              That special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, Or maybe below the cockles, Maybe in the sub-cockle area, Maybe in the liver, Maybe in the kidneys, Maybe even in the colon, We don't know.

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              • #8
                She might take after her father, though I'm scared to apply the 20-30 years analogy

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Claymonkey View Post
                  Plus, have we forgotten the rule? Before marrying look at the mother.. that's what you're wife will look like in 20-30 years. If you're scared... run away
                  eeeeeeeeeeeekkkk!!!
                  things I should have known 16 years ago!

                  Actually, thank god my wife's genes seem to have favoured her fathers side.
                  Yeah, well I'm gonna build my own lunar space lander! With blackjack aaaaannd Hookers! Actually, forget the space lander, and the blackjack. Ahhhh forget the whole thing!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by gt40 View Post
                    eeeeeeeeeeeekkkk!!!
                    things I should have known 16 years ago!

                    Actually, thank god my wife's genes seem to have favoured her fathers side.
                    glad to hear you said take after her father's side and not her father
                    Wikipedia and Google.... the needles to my tangent habit.
                    ________________________________________________

                    That special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, Or maybe below the cockles, Maybe in the sub-cockle area, Maybe in the liver, Maybe in the kidneys, Maybe even in the colon, We don't know.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Admiral View Post
                      She might take after her father, though I'm scared to apply the 20-30 years analogy

                      ohhh god .. must ... keep .... stomach content .... in ....
                      Originally posted by Gurm
                      .. some very fair skinned women just have a nasty brown crack no matter what...

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                      • #12
                        well, you twisted my arm .. my lovely wife, on the right with my in lows (mother & sister)

                        keep your chuckling to a minimum please ...
                        Attached Files
                        Originally posted by Gurm
                        .. some very fair skinned women just have a nasty brown crack no matter what...

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          A lovely trio, but you seem to have caught the milf mother in law in an unflattering facial expression.
                          Yeah, well I'm gonna build my own lunar space lander! With blackjack aaaaannd Hookers! Actually, forget the space lander, and the blackjack. Ahhhh forget the whole thing!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            10x , and u r right. I am a crappy photographer .. am learning though
                            Originally posted by Gurm
                            .. some very fair skinned women just have a nasty brown crack no matter what...

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                            • #15
                              I'm with GT40.
                              There's an Opera in my macbook.

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