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Ok, here goes again. What have I been reading? Hmm... let's see!
Harry Potter (All) by J.R.R.Q.P. Rawlings:
Utter drek. Seriously. The whole series sucks.
*whew* ok now that I've gotten THAT out of my system, it was all right. Rowling has major weaknesses as both an author and a 'creator of worlds', and it's clear she completely lost track of where the story was going at least 2 or 3 times, especially in the latter books.
The characters were, however, definitely likeable and easy to relate to.
But let's face it. In Rowling's universe Wizards are the dumbest creatures on the planet. I mean, they routinely mock "moogles" for not knowing anything, but WTF? Not a single wizard in the entire damn universe can work a light switch? And they can fix any ailment, regrow bones, but apparently for SOME reason they all have to wear glasses? Nobody in the wizarding universe apparently has heard of LASIK.
And they have their own money. Why? Just to be obstinate? It's a pretty damn weak monetary system if there's no interchange with other monetary systems.
Bad plumbing, no electricity... y'know, the wizarding universe starts to sound pretty shitty. Seriously. Plus to read the descriptions it all smells kind of funny.
Book 6 was definitely my favorite, it was the most coherent.
Book 7 was... well, the ending was a bit... uh... I don't want to spoil this for people who are eager to know who dies and who doesn't. Let's just say I thought it would go slightly differently.
And something nobody bothers to tell the legions of 10 year olds waiting for their Harry Potter books... OR their parents... is that after about book 3 these things really STOP being appropriate for 10 year olds! I'd say that books 5-7 are REALLY for much older teenagers. Y'know, around Harry's age. It's clear that Rowling went "oh, yeah Harry is 17 now, we can have some people DIE and some people get PREGNANT and some OTHER people die, and some people get tortured and scream and bleed and... then some MORE people can just randomly DIE!"
Stardust by Neil Gaiman:
Yay! I liked this! Err... but despite being in the "young readers" section at the bookstore, I think the sex scenes alone make it inappropriate for anyone under about 15. Plus there's a lot of blood and gore. I mean, evil is as evil does, yeah? But... *ahem* well written, if a bit "jump-around-y". Plus it of course suffers from Gaiman's traditional "what a cool concept and then I lost the tone and had to sort of yank it back on track" disease. But all in all quite a fun read!
Winnie The Pooh by A.A. Milne:
Go ahead, laugh. Logan is just the right age, and Jacob loves Pooh. And they're fun stories. Wonderful, stand the test of time, all that stuff. Must-own.
Make Love!* (the Bruce Campbell Way) Bruce Campbell:
Well, "If Chins Could Kill" has been on my favorites list for a long time. This one was wildly entertaining, if completely fictional. You know, it's one of those "this is all true except all the parts I made up" books. Great fun though. Bruce is STILL my hero.
The Dark Is Rising Sequence by Susan Cooper:
Wow, I had completely forgotten the plot to these. I just remember them being great when I was like... 10. And they're STILL great. It's rare that you find a "young adults' author" that is equally readable by adults without "dumbing down".
I'm about halfway through the 5 books now, and I can see why they chose the second ("The Dark Is Rising") to make into a movie, although the first ("Over Sea and Under Stone") still remains my favorite.
The Hobbit by Tolkien:
Started into this with Logan. It's still a bit beyond him, and although Tolkien intended it to be read out loud, he intended it to be read out loud to stuffy British schoolchildren who would someday go on to author history textbooks (no joke here!), and thus Logan sort of glazes over. *sigh* Alas, perhaps next year! Besides, he's too busy reading books about Harry Houdini and Ants. (Not the SAME book, mind you!)
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Hrm. Seems like there ought to be more from the last month. I will have to go back over what's on the shelf... I know there's some nonfiction that I read but I can't recall what it is. I started the new Herman Wouk book about the supercollider in Texas... *yawn*
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Oh yes! Here we are!
The Bourne {Insert Stupid Word Here} by Eric Van Lustbader, Repeatedly Raping the Rotting Corpse of Robert Ludlum:
I had to stop. These books were in the bargain bin, so I got them for $5 in hardback for both. But I had to stop. I will seldom just STOP reading a book. But dear GOD these were bad.
Let's face it - Ludlum stopped being able to write Jason Bourne well after the second book. Why would anyone ELSE be able to?
-------------
And while we're on the topic, here's a list of books I have only the most fleeting of desires to read, because they are continuations of long-dead series by "other authors", or "children of the authors":
House {Insert Silly Name Here},
{Insert Silly Word Here} of Dune,
The {Insert Silly Word or Name} {Insert Synonym for "Conflict"},
etc. by Brian Herbert:
Ick. Ick, ick, ick. ICK. Julie read a few of these, but then again she really goes for "ooh someone is filling in all the gaps in the story for me!" fiction. I never mind that, to be honest, but only when it's the original author and only when it wasn't a ridiculous afterthought or desperate attempt to garner money/attention. Like, seriously - if J.R.R.T.Q.K.L. Rawlins writes a book about Harry Pothead's parents? I will never read it.
{Insert Fantasy Element Here} of Pern by Brian McAffery:
Is it a rule that authors must name their children "Brian"? Seriously... actually, Julie tells me these are quite good. But I honestly think that the Pern series was left in a perfectly good place. Anne herself had filled in everything that needed filling in. Seriously. Oh, fine I might read them if I ever run out of other material. But that's unlikely.
{Insert Increasingly Unlikely Term Here} of Shannara by Terry Brooks:
Wait, he wrote the whole series, didn't he? Hmm... did he get BORED? I seem to recall there being two "series" set in Shannara, and I was happy with that. Then the books started coming in dribs and drabs, and I never really got around to reading them. "First King of Shannara", "Lost Boys of Shannara", "Forest Gump of Shannara", etc.
And now there's another ... trilogy? Quartet? Quintet? And THAT is done with, and now he's started ANOTHER series about how the world got to BE like Shannara, and not like the post-nuclear holocaust that we always knew was sort of hiding under his stories.
Umm... yeaaahhhh. *sigh* But I bought it. And I'll probaby read it.
Harry Potter (All) by J.R.R.Q.P. Rawlings:
Utter drek. Seriously. The whole series sucks.
*whew* ok now that I've gotten THAT out of my system, it was all right. Rowling has major weaknesses as both an author and a 'creator of worlds', and it's clear she completely lost track of where the story was going at least 2 or 3 times, especially in the latter books.
The characters were, however, definitely likeable and easy to relate to.
But let's face it. In Rowling's universe Wizards are the dumbest creatures on the planet. I mean, they routinely mock "moogles" for not knowing anything, but WTF? Not a single wizard in the entire damn universe can work a light switch? And they can fix any ailment, regrow bones, but apparently for SOME reason they all have to wear glasses? Nobody in the wizarding universe apparently has heard of LASIK.
And they have their own money. Why? Just to be obstinate? It's a pretty damn weak monetary system if there's no interchange with other monetary systems.
Bad plumbing, no electricity... y'know, the wizarding universe starts to sound pretty shitty. Seriously. Plus to read the descriptions it all smells kind of funny.
Book 6 was definitely my favorite, it was the most coherent.
Book 7 was... well, the ending was a bit... uh... I don't want to spoil this for people who are eager to know who dies and who doesn't. Let's just say I thought it would go slightly differently.
And something nobody bothers to tell the legions of 10 year olds waiting for their Harry Potter books... OR their parents... is that after about book 3 these things really STOP being appropriate for 10 year olds! I'd say that books 5-7 are REALLY for much older teenagers. Y'know, around Harry's age. It's clear that Rowling went "oh, yeah Harry is 17 now, we can have some people DIE and some people get PREGNANT and some OTHER people die, and some people get tortured and scream and bleed and... then some MORE people can just randomly DIE!"
Stardust by Neil Gaiman:
Yay! I liked this! Err... but despite being in the "young readers" section at the bookstore, I think the sex scenes alone make it inappropriate for anyone under about 15. Plus there's a lot of blood and gore. I mean, evil is as evil does, yeah? But... *ahem* well written, if a bit "jump-around-y". Plus it of course suffers from Gaiman's traditional "what a cool concept and then I lost the tone and had to sort of yank it back on track" disease. But all in all quite a fun read!
Winnie The Pooh by A.A. Milne:
Go ahead, laugh. Logan is just the right age, and Jacob loves Pooh. And they're fun stories. Wonderful, stand the test of time, all that stuff. Must-own.
Make Love!* (the Bruce Campbell Way) Bruce Campbell:
Well, "If Chins Could Kill" has been on my favorites list for a long time. This one was wildly entertaining, if completely fictional. You know, it's one of those "this is all true except all the parts I made up" books. Great fun though. Bruce is STILL my hero.
The Dark Is Rising Sequence by Susan Cooper:
Wow, I had completely forgotten the plot to these. I just remember them being great when I was like... 10. And they're STILL great. It's rare that you find a "young adults' author" that is equally readable by adults without "dumbing down".
I'm about halfway through the 5 books now, and I can see why they chose the second ("The Dark Is Rising") to make into a movie, although the first ("Over Sea and Under Stone") still remains my favorite.
The Hobbit by Tolkien:
Started into this with Logan. It's still a bit beyond him, and although Tolkien intended it to be read out loud, he intended it to be read out loud to stuffy British schoolchildren who would someday go on to author history textbooks (no joke here!), and thus Logan sort of glazes over. *sigh* Alas, perhaps next year! Besides, he's too busy reading books about Harry Houdini and Ants. (Not the SAME book, mind you!)
-------------
Hrm. Seems like there ought to be more from the last month. I will have to go back over what's on the shelf... I know there's some nonfiction that I read but I can't recall what it is. I started the new Herman Wouk book about the supercollider in Texas... *yawn*
-------------
Oh yes! Here we are!
The Bourne {Insert Stupid Word Here} by Eric Van Lustbader, Repeatedly Raping the Rotting Corpse of Robert Ludlum:
I had to stop. These books were in the bargain bin, so I got them for $5 in hardback for both. But I had to stop. I will seldom just STOP reading a book. But dear GOD these were bad.
Let's face it - Ludlum stopped being able to write Jason Bourne well after the second book. Why would anyone ELSE be able to?
-------------
And while we're on the topic, here's a list of books I have only the most fleeting of desires to read, because they are continuations of long-dead series by "other authors", or "children of the authors":
House {Insert Silly Name Here},
{Insert Silly Word Here} of Dune,
The {Insert Silly Word or Name} {Insert Synonym for "Conflict"},
etc. by Brian Herbert:
Ick. Ick, ick, ick. ICK. Julie read a few of these, but then again she really goes for "ooh someone is filling in all the gaps in the story for me!" fiction. I never mind that, to be honest, but only when it's the original author and only when it wasn't a ridiculous afterthought or desperate attempt to garner money/attention. Like, seriously - if J.R.R.T.Q.K.L. Rawlins writes a book about Harry Pothead's parents? I will never read it.
{Insert Fantasy Element Here} of Pern by Brian McAffery:
Is it a rule that authors must name their children "Brian"? Seriously... actually, Julie tells me these are quite good. But I honestly think that the Pern series was left in a perfectly good place. Anne herself had filled in everything that needed filling in. Seriously. Oh, fine I might read them if I ever run out of other material. But that's unlikely.
{Insert Increasingly Unlikely Term Here} of Shannara by Terry Brooks:
Wait, he wrote the whole series, didn't he? Hmm... did he get BORED? I seem to recall there being two "series" set in Shannara, and I was happy with that. Then the books started coming in dribs and drabs, and I never really got around to reading them. "First King of Shannara", "Lost Boys of Shannara", "Forest Gump of Shannara", etc.
And now there's another ... trilogy? Quartet? Quintet? And THAT is done with, and now he's started ANOTHER series about how the world got to BE like Shannara, and not like the post-nuclear holocaust that we always knew was sort of hiding under his stories.
Umm... yeaaahhhh. *sigh* But I bought it. And I'll probaby read it.
)
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