The Speeding Offence ---------------------

[Brian Ellis]

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got caught drink driving.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.
The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet that Liar told you I was speeding too!!

[Fat Tone]

Old Gold

[ZokesPro]

Hahaha!

And here I thought it was another The Pit thread.

[Brian Ellis]

Hahaha!

And here I thought it was another The Pit thread.

Same title, different theme

[Jammrock]

This reminds me of a joke I read in Maxim once:

A man in his new Mercedes Benz convertible gets pulled over after a five minute chase by a state trooper at 110 MPH (~180 KPH). The trooper looks absolutely furious as he walks up to the car and asks for the driver's license and registration.

After a moment of silence the trooper looks up and says, "Today just may be your lucky day. It just so happens that I'm at the end of a long shift and I'm really tired and in a bad mood, so I'm going to make you a deal. If you can give me an excuse I've never heard before and put a smile on my face I'll let you go."

The average looking middle-aged man clears his throat and says, "Well, sir, you see I bought this new car after my wife left me while I was going through a mid-life crisis. You see, she left me for a state trooper, who I thought was you trying to give her back to me."

The trooper smiled, gave back the license and registration, and drove away.

[ZokesPro]

@Jam: HAHAHA! That's a good one.