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Subject: Aviation Dictionary
AIRSPEED - Speed of an airplane. (Deduct 25% when listening to a retired fighter pilot.)
AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL - A game played by airline pilots and air traffic controllers. The game has no rules, and neither side knows how it is played, but the goal is to prevent flights from arriving in time for passengers to make connecting flights.
BANK - The folks who hold the lien on most pilots'
CARBURETOR ICING - A phenomenon reported to the FAA by pilots immediately after they run out of gas
CONE OF CONFUSION - An area about the size of New Jersey located near the final approach beacon at an airport.
CRAB - A VFR Instructor's attitude on an IFR day.
DEAD RECKONING - You reckon correctly, or you are.
DESTINATION - Geographical location 30 minutes beyond the pilot's bladder saturation point.
ENGINE FAILURE - A condition that occurs when all fuel tanks mysteriously become filled with low-octane air.
FIREWALL - Section of the aircraft specifically designed to funnel heat and smoke into the cockpit.
FLIGHT FOLLOWING - Formation flying.
FLIGHT PLAN - An entertaining work of paperback fiction.
GLIDE DISTANCE - Half the distance from an airplane to the nearest emergency landing field.
HOBBS - An instrument which creates an emergency situation should it fail during dual instruction.
HYDROPLANE - An airplane designed to land long on a short and wet runway.
IFR - A method of flying by needle and horoscope.
LEAN MIXTURE - Nonalcoholic beer.
MINI MAG LITE - Device designed to support the AA battery industry.
NANOSECOND - Time delay between the Low Fuel Warning light and the onset of carburetor icing.
PARACHUTES - The two chutes in a Stearman
PARASITIC DRAG - A pilot who bums a ride and complains about the service.
RANGE - Usually about 3 miles short of the destination.
RICH MIXTURE - What you order at another pilot's promotion party.
ROGER - Used when you're not sure what else to say.
SECTIONAL CHART - Any chart that ends 25 NM short of your destination.
SERVICE CEILING - Altitude at which cabin crew can serve drinks.
SPOILERS - FAA Inspectors.
STALL - Technique used to explain to the bank why your car payment is late.
STEEP BANKS - Banks that charge pilots more than 10% interest.
STICK ACTUATOR - the technical term for a pilot in modern jets, particularly Airbus.
TURN & BANK INDICATOR - An instrument largely ignored by pilots.
USEFUL LOAD - Volumetric capacity of the aircraft, disregarding weight.
VOR - Radio navigation aid, named after the VORtex effect on pilots trying to home in on it.
WAC CHART - Directions to the Army female barracks.
YANKEE - Any pilot who has to ask New Orleans tower to "Say again."
AIRSPEED - Speed of an airplane. (Deduct 25% when listening to a retired fighter pilot.)
AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL - A game played by airline pilots and air traffic controllers. The game has no rules, and neither side knows how it is played, but the goal is to prevent flights from arriving in time for passengers to make connecting flights.
BANK - The folks who hold the lien on most pilots'
CARBURETOR ICING - A phenomenon reported to the FAA by pilots immediately after they run out of gas
CONE OF CONFUSION - An area about the size of New Jersey located near the final approach beacon at an airport.
CRAB - A VFR Instructor's attitude on an IFR day.
DEAD RECKONING - You reckon correctly, or you are.
DESTINATION - Geographical location 30 minutes beyond the pilot's bladder saturation point.
ENGINE FAILURE - A condition that occurs when all fuel tanks mysteriously become filled with low-octane air.
FIREWALL - Section of the aircraft specifically designed to funnel heat and smoke into the cockpit.
FLIGHT FOLLOWING - Formation flying.
FLIGHT PLAN - An entertaining work of paperback fiction.
GLIDE DISTANCE - Half the distance from an airplane to the nearest emergency landing field.
HOBBS - An instrument which creates an emergency situation should it fail during dual instruction.
HYDROPLANE - An airplane designed to land long on a short and wet runway.
IFR - A method of flying by needle and horoscope.
LEAN MIXTURE - Nonalcoholic beer.
MINI MAG LITE - Device designed to support the AA battery industry.
NANOSECOND - Time delay between the Low Fuel Warning light and the onset of carburetor icing.
PARACHUTES - The two chutes in a Stearman
PARASITIC DRAG - A pilot who bums a ride and complains about the service.
RANGE - Usually about 3 miles short of the destination.
RICH MIXTURE - What you order at another pilot's promotion party.
ROGER - Used when you're not sure what else to say.
SECTIONAL CHART - Any chart that ends 25 NM short of your destination.
SERVICE CEILING - Altitude at which cabin crew can serve drinks.
SPOILERS - FAA Inspectors.
STALL - Technique used to explain to the bank why your car payment is late.
STEEP BANKS - Banks that charge pilots more than 10% interest.
STICK ACTUATOR - the technical term for a pilot in modern jets, particularly Airbus.
TURN & BANK INDICATOR - An instrument largely ignored by pilots.
USEFUL LOAD - Volumetric capacity of the aircraft, disregarding weight.
VOR - Radio navigation aid, named after the VORtex effect on pilots trying to home in on it.
WAC CHART - Directions to the Army female barracks.
YANKEE - Any pilot who has to ask New Orleans tower to "Say again."
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