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WOMEN
~~~~~
HAZARDOUS MATERIALS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
INFORMATION SYSTEM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET
WOMEN: A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS
ELEMENT: Woman
SYMBOL: Wo
DISCOVERER: Adam
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 118 lbs., known to vary from 110 to 550 lbs.
OCCURENCE: Copious quantities throughout the world
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1) Surface usually covered with a painted film
2) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason
3) Melts when handled well and treated properly
4) Bitter if incorrectly used
5) Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common crude
6) Yields to pressure applied to correct points
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1) Has great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and precious stones
2) Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
3) May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason
4) Insoluble in liquids but activity is greatly increased by saturation in
alcohol
5) Most powerful money-reducing agent known
COMMON USES
1) Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
2) Can be great aid to relaxation
TESTS
1) Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state
2) Turns green when placed beside a better specimen
HAZARDS
1) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2) Illegal to possess more than one
#1 DRILL SERGEANT PICK-UP LINE
"You make me hornier before 9 AM than most
people do all day!"
Oddly enough, when I worked at the environmental services company, the lab had a MSDS sheet for water as well. So I'm guessing it's not as rare a thing as it might appear.
Still odd.
The instructions for spills/leaks were similar, but then a good deal of the 'water' at the lab there was of the industrial waste variety.
“And, remember: there's no 'I' in 'irony'†~ Merlin Mann
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