Sometimes reading the news....

[Dr Mordrid]

....just isn't as easy as it sounds....especially when listeners send you urban legends.

Still, it's a classic hoot

NSFW

2.5 mb MP3....

[Tjalfe]

I first heard that sound clip back sometime in the last millenium

[MultimediaMan]

I had a hard copy of that sometime before 1995, I think...

[Nowhere]

You know, it seems/it's possible that by chance I was a frequent visitor to an IRC channel from which originated certain way of describing such things...

(or at least we were one of the few using it much sooner than I noticed its usage everywhere else/in common usage, which happened some time after we started a webpage with this word in its URL, for posting links to funny/interesting things/jokes; same thing with nonsensical usage of "Your oldman"/"You 'oldwoman'(?)", though we were using it mostly as a catchphrase, later it also morphed into motivators)

So...let me introduce (perhaps) this to EN speaking audience...

RUSK!

[Helevitia]

One of the funniest stories I read back in the mid-90's. Here is the follow up just in case you didn't see it

Things in this story that scare me…

“I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum ….”

“So I peered into the tube … ” (I’m sorry, but that’s like looking through a telescope into hell. I’d rather use binoculars to stare at the sun.)

That poor gerbil (who obviously suffers from low self esteem) being shot out of the guy’s anus like Rocky the Flying Squirrel on the Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoon.

Suffering a broken nose from a gerbil’s body being launched out of someone’s ass. I’m just guessing, but I seriously doubt that said gerbil was springtime fresh after his journey into Kiki’s tunnel of love.”

People walking around with these volcanic-like pockets of gas in their intestines.

People who do this kind of thing and then admit what they were doing when taken to a hospital emergency room. Sorry, but I think I would have made up a story about a gang of roving, pyromaniacal, anal sex fiends breaking into my house and sodomizing me with charcoal lighter fluid before admitting this kind of truth. Call me old fashioned if you must, but I just cannot imagine looking at a doctor and saying, “Well, doc, it’s like this. You see, we had this gerbil named Raggot, and we took a cardboard tube … “

“First and second degree burns to the anus ….” Wouldn’t this make the burning itch and discomfort of hemorrhoids seem like a welcome relief? How does one ever take a healthy dump after something like this? And the smell of burning anus must be in the top five most horrible smells on the face of God’s green earth.

People named “Kiki” which is obviously a Polynesian word for: “Idiotic man who insert rodent up his butt.”

What kind of hospital would hold a press conference on this?

[Helevitia]

I thought I had posted it before...

http://forums.murc.ws/showthread.php?t=51542&highlight=kiki