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I know not many people will read this, but I want to write it somewhere.
In the whole Smith-Rock saga, I feel everyone seems to forget how much words can hurt. Of course slapping a person is not acceptable and should have consequences, but as a person who punched his bully during biology class, I can understand how seemingly simple comments can trigger you. And as a victim, you always have to be the bigger person: everyone tells you they are just words, that you should let it pass, but it hard. You are just powerless, and everyone tells you to "let it go". The saga created a bit of a sense of understanding for the disease of Jade, but it did not do anything for creating understanding of how, what can be a simple joke to one can really hurt. This is something I think only the victim knows, I'm even willing to accept that not all bullies, and for sure not people more from the outside that just make a bad joke, grasp the magnitude of that impact.
For me, this lack of consequences for Chris Rock rips open old wounds. He has not apologised, his ticket sales are through the roof, and everyone is admiring how well he handled it. He claimed he did not know about the disease, but I don't buy that: it was public knowledge. I can believe he did not know his comment would trigger Smith the way it did, but he should now at least show some understanding... Maybe it is why he is quiet on the topic...? Many comments of people are that they are in shock of the violence, but they overlook the fact that this was just a visible consequence of non-visible issues going on for years. This slap should not have happened and should have consequences, no discussion there, but it is not a type of event to be compared against e.g. domestic violence (comparisons which I already saw in newspapers). It would have been so different if Smith would have gone on stage and said something along the lines of "Chris Rock, ladies and gentlemen. The man throwing salt in wounds for the enjoyment of millions. Providing material for bullies all over the world! And you all laugh with it...". But at such times you just don't think straight, and in hindsight it is easy.
My bully, after I punched him, was so shocked he actually took the blame for the punch: he told the teacher it was his fault. Or course I was punished, but because of his admission he also got punished. Of course the bullying continued a few days later, less though as he lost esteem in his group (and arguing it was a sissy punch with a black eye for a week does not carry well
), but boy was my punishment worth it and boy did that feel good.
I've never told this story after leaving that school (it is almost 30 years ago and never punched anyone since), my wife does not know... but I still remember it as one of my most vivid memories: the immediate trigger, the teacher's reaction, the shocked bully proclaiming "it was my fault", the atmosphere in the class immediately afterwards, shocked looks, and best of all: me walking with my head up high the next day when presenting the teacher with essay I had to write as punishment and how small the bully seemed when handing in his... Not a Back-to-the-future-Biff-change, but still... And come to think of it, I also remember how seemingly no-one was surprised it led to this. They were surprised *when* it happened, but not so much *that* it happened. (I suspect that was why the teacher let me of lightly)
I just had to post here as my own event is now replaying in my head, esp. due to the one-side way the oscar-slap is presented.
In the whole Smith-Rock saga, I feel everyone seems to forget how much words can hurt. Of course slapping a person is not acceptable and should have consequences, but as a person who punched his bully during biology class, I can understand how seemingly simple comments can trigger you. And as a victim, you always have to be the bigger person: everyone tells you they are just words, that you should let it pass, but it hard. You are just powerless, and everyone tells you to "let it go". The saga created a bit of a sense of understanding for the disease of Jade, but it did not do anything for creating understanding of how, what can be a simple joke to one can really hurt. This is something I think only the victim knows, I'm even willing to accept that not all bullies, and for sure not people more from the outside that just make a bad joke, grasp the magnitude of that impact.
For me, this lack of consequences for Chris Rock rips open old wounds. He has not apologised, his ticket sales are through the roof, and everyone is admiring how well he handled it. He claimed he did not know about the disease, but I don't buy that: it was public knowledge. I can believe he did not know his comment would trigger Smith the way it did, but he should now at least show some understanding... Maybe it is why he is quiet on the topic...? Many comments of people are that they are in shock of the violence, but they overlook the fact that this was just a visible consequence of non-visible issues going on for years. This slap should not have happened and should have consequences, no discussion there, but it is not a type of event to be compared against e.g. domestic violence (comparisons which I already saw in newspapers). It would have been so different if Smith would have gone on stage and said something along the lines of "Chris Rock, ladies and gentlemen. The man throwing salt in wounds for the enjoyment of millions. Providing material for bullies all over the world! And you all laugh with it...". But at such times you just don't think straight, and in hindsight it is easy.
My bully, after I punched him, was so shocked he actually took the blame for the punch: he told the teacher it was his fault. Or course I was punished, but because of his admission he also got punished. Of course the bullying continued a few days later, less though as he lost esteem in his group (and arguing it was a sissy punch with a black eye for a week does not carry well
), but boy was my punishment worth it and boy did that feel good.I've never told this story after leaving that school (it is almost 30 years ago and never punched anyone since), my wife does not know... but I still remember it as one of my most vivid memories: the immediate trigger, the teacher's reaction, the shocked bully proclaiming "it was my fault", the atmosphere in the class immediately afterwards, shocked looks, and best of all: me walking with my head up high the next day when presenting the teacher with essay I had to write as punishment and how small the bully seemed when handing in his... Not a Back-to-the-future-Biff-change, but still... And come to think of it, I also remember how seemingly no-one was surprised it led to this. They were surprised *when* it happened, but not so much *that* it happened. (I suspect that was why the teacher let me of lightly)
I just had to post here as my own event is now replaying in my head, esp. due to the one-side way the oscar-slap is presented.
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