(lol) WHO HATES MICROSOFT?

[Speedy]

i never said i hate it, and i dont need any explanation why to hate it, who thinks that he hates microsoft?

[ALBPM]

Don't really Hate Microsoft but I do tend to CUSS at Microsoft on a daily basis

Paul

[DirtFarmer]

Matrox Hardware doesn't seem to hate Microsoft. There, Speedy, got you back on topic

Personally, I've never met the person, but I've heard rumours that their is inherent instability in the family.

ALBPM: Sounds like Microsoft is your boss?

--
Al out

[LAMFDTK]

This is the oldest topic on the internet

[SteveC]

A Few Bill Gates Jokes:

Riki Lake's Interview With Bill Gates
Who is Bill Gates, the man behind the multi-billion dollar Microsoft computer empire? Underneath his nerdy exterior, is there simpply another nerd? And what does someone who has $17 billion and no hobbies do for fun? We called talk-show hostess Ricki Lake and asked her to do two things: First, do an investigative report of Gates for MAD, and second, try to avoid cleaning out Denny's entire all you can eat breakfast bar in a single sitting! She agreed to do the investigation!
RIKI: It's been reported that your house is worth $40 million!

BILL: And yet, I married a simple girl.

RIKI: What makes you say that?

BILL: She signed a prenuptial agreement that my shyster lawyer drafted! If that's not simple, I don't know what is.

RIKI: Tell me, what kind of a woman goes for an arrogant, unattractive, dandruff-laden billionaire?

BILL: All of them!


(Bill and Riki enter the Microsoft Headquarters and all the employees bow down to him.)
BILL: People used to stop working when they left the office. But thanks to laptop computers, people now work on trains, airplanes, buses, everywhere! Right now we're developing a computer in a washcloth!

RIKI: Let me guess - so you can work in the shower.

BILL: Yeah, well, otherwise, it's just wasted time.


(They enter another room)
BILL: At my company we encourage horseplay. This type of activity really gets their creative juices flowing!

RIKI: I've never seen professionals acting so childishly in my life!

BILL: Then I guess you missed Marcia Clark and Johnnie Cochran at the O.J. trial. (Then, to an employee) "You stupid, ignorant, knuckle-scraping primate!"

RIKI: Your employees must love you because of the way you speak to them.

BILL: It's called "tough love."

RIKI: What's the difference between tough love and acting like a jerk?

BILL: If you call it tough love, you can take the position that you're doing it for their sake.

RIKI: With all of your verbal tirades, how do you keep cohesion in your company?

BILL: We start each day with the Pledge of Allegiance!

CROWD OF EMPLOYEES: We pledge allegiance to Bill Gates...

BILL: It needed a little upgrading.

RIKI: It's been reported that you approach software makers and offer to acquire them. But once you learn their trade secrets, you pull out of the deal and come out with a competing product.

BILL: So?

RIKI: Well, isn't that stealing?

BILL: So?

RIKI: What do you think about the hate groups that have been spreading on the Internet?

BILL: I'm all for it! The more racist and xenophobic, the more popular the medium will become!

RIKI: Do you really believe that?

BILL: Hey, it worked for talk radio!

RIKI: Does the soaring popularity of porno lines on the Internet upset you?

BILL: You bet! I keep getting a busy signal!

RIKI: It's been reported in the media that you actually take your mother with you to business meetings.

BILL: So what if I do?

RIKI: Isn't that a little weird?

BILL: No! I took her to my high school prom too. Would you call that weird?

RIKI: Uh, let's go to the computer store.

BILL: We are continually upgrading all of the programs we sell.

RIKI: But when you upgrade a program, doesn't that make the old one obsolete?

BILL: Yes.

RIKI: Is that kind of planned obsolescence a good thing?

BILL: Are you kidding? Do you own a $40 million dollar house? (Picking up one of the software packages) This is our graphic interface software environment applications system.

RIKI: What does that mean?

BILL: Nobody knows! We keep adding technical words to the title until it justifies the hefty price tag. Let's see here....ah yes, this program shows you how to draw Fred Flintstone. ....Child psychologists say that giving a kid a computer today is the same thing as giving a kid a bicycle 25 years ago.

RIKI: Actually, there's a big difference. Cycling is an outdoor activity that promotes physical fitness.

BILL: There's plenty of exercise involved in computing. That kid will be walking to and from the store at least five times a week to buy new programs and upgrade his components. ....For the computer nerd, we've developed a virtual sex program. They never have to interact with another human!

RIKI: Great! It's like guiltless sex!

BILL: Not really. Guys who use the program at work feel like they're cheating on their computers at home. The applications for computers are widening every day. Soon, you'll be able to get a checkup from your doctor over the computer.

RIKI: Wow! How will that work?

BILL: Filp on the program and wait for two hours until he calls your name.

RIKI: You were aquiring software competitors at an alarming rate before the Justice Department intervened and stopped you.

BILL: Yes, and as a result we've changed our focus. We're now planning to acquire an organization outside the software field which should end our problems.

RIKI: Which one?

BILL: The Justice Department. ...Girls in college never dated me twice, and I don't know why. I always took them to dinner and a show.

RIKI: Was it a Broadway show or a computer trade show at the convention center?

BILL: You think that's why I kept striking out?

RIKI: It's been written that you're so wrapped up in your head that you forget to bathe.

BILL: I can't be bothered with what other people say about me. Great men of science always work alone!

RIKI: (holding her nose) And now we know why! ...In interviews you've given over the years, I've never heard you share credit for Microsoft's success with it's co-founder, Appalled Allen.

BILL: Just because what's-his-name co-founded Microsoft, he wants half the credit! There's no pleasing that guy! Okay, I'll give him credit, but I want credit for giving him credit!

RIKI: You keep saying you're worth $17 billion. What's it like to be the richest man in America?

BILL: I have my good days and my bad days, just like everyone else. But there's a difference.

RIKI: What's that?

BILL: On my bad days, I still make enough to buy the island of Tahiti!

RIKI: You've made it known that you haven't left a dime in your will for any children you might have. Is that because you're cheap?

BILL: No, it's an insurance policy. This way, my children won't blow my brains out for the $17 billion inheritance. You ever hear of the Menendez brothers?

RIKI: There's something different about you from all the other wealthy CEOs I've interviewed.

BILL: Is it my wit and charm?

RIKI: No, it's your body acne. Part with a buck and buy yourself some skin cream! ...Tell me, where do you go from here?

BILL: I'm going to run for President of the United States. I found a Vice-Presidential running mate who's just like me!

RIKI: Where in the world did you find another billionaire, technocrat fascist?

BILL: Where have you been hiding, schmendrick? That's my man!


(Ross Perot is behind a podium, babbling nonsense.)
ROSS: See, I envision an electronic town hall, see...

----------







------------------
Cheers,
Steve

"The chances of anything coming from Mars, are a million-to-one", he said.

[merchant2112]

it's not that i hate ms its that i hate his windows, outook ,a h wait i don't think there is a pice of software that ms makes that i don't dislike (alot) but still use cuase we have too.) but think on this if it wern't for bill gates where would we be today..... dos 3.3 anyone ibm xt anyone. oh wait we would be out mixing with the members of the opisit sex instead of killing each other on the net.


wait lets kill gates now. maybe its not to late.

[Maggi]

so Speedy ... isn't one forum enough for your survey ??? (bbs.3dfiles.com)

LOL

Anyway ... I hate MS for selling beta products to customers that are labeled as 'final retail' ... always happens since the first 'release' of Win95

#*+"%!"%§&'*#+§"%§"& !!!!



------------------
Cheers,
Maggi
________________________

Working Rig:
Asus P2B-DS @ 103MHz FSB
Double Pentium III-450 @ 464 MHz
4 x 128MB CAS2 SDRAM
Matrox Millennium G400 32MB DualHead
Nokia 445Xi (21")
Nokia 447Xpro (17")

Home Rig:
Asus P2B-S Bios 1010 @ 112MHz FSB
Celeron 300A @ 504MHz
2 x 128MB CAS2 SDRAM
Matrox Millennium G400 32MB DualHead @ 150/200MHz
CTX VL710T (17")

[Xizor]

While you're on the subject :-)

Now that Bill Gates is moving into his new house the following is a conversation heard last week.

Bill: "There are a few issues we need to discuss."

Contractor: "Ah, you have our basic support option. Calls are free for the first
90 days and $75 a call thereafter. Okay?"

Bill: "Uh, yeah... the first issue is the living room. We think its a little smaller than we anticipated."

Contractor: "Yeah. Some compromises were made to have it out by the release date."

Bill: "We won't be able to fit all our furniture in there."

Contractor: "Well, you have two options. You can purchase a new, larger living room; or you can use a Stacker.

Bill: "Stacker?"

Contractor: "Yeah, it allows you to fit twice as much furniture into the room. By stacking it, of course, you put the entertainment centre on the couch... the chairs on the table... etc. You leave an empty spot, so when you want to use some furniture you can unstack what you need and then put it back when you're done."

Bill: "Uh... I dunno... issue two. The second issue is the light fixtures. The bulbs we brought with us from our old home won't fit. The threads run the wrong way."

Contractor: "Oh! That's easy. Those bulbs aren't plug and play. You'll have to upgrade to the new bulbs."

Bill: "And the electrical outlets? The holes are round, not rectangular. How do I fix that?"

Contractor: "Just uninstall and reinstall the electrical system."

Bill: "You're kidding!?"

Contractor: "Nope. Its the only way."

Bill: "sighWell... I have one last problem. Sometimes, when I have guests over, someone will flush the toilet and it won't stop. The water pressure drops so low that the showers don't work."

Contractor: "That's a resource leakage problem. One fixture is failing to termin
ate and is hogging the resources preventing access from other fixtures."

Bill: "And how do I fix that?"

Contractor: "Well, after each flush, you all need to exit the house, turn off the water at the street, turn it back on, reenter the house and then you can get back to work."

Bill: "That's the last straw. What kind of product are you selling me?"

Contractor: "Hey, if you don't like it nobody made you buy it."

Bill: "And when will this be fixed?"

Contractor: "Oh, in your next house -- which will be ready to release sometime near the end of next year. Actually it was due out this year, but we've had some delays..."

-Xizor.

[This message has been edited by Xizor (edited 27 October 1999).]

[Buuri]

Maggi,

I hate MS for selling beta products to customers that are labeled as 'final retail' ... always happens since the first 'release' of Win95

You must be happy that they'll test W2K another 4 months before releasing it.
Anyway I'm using W2K RC2 which is the best product Microsoft has ever made.

I just wonder what gives people the reason or right to hate Microsoft/Bill Gates? How many lines of code do you think that Bill wrote for Windows 98? Please.. It's the money isn't it? You gotta hate the welthiest man on the planet even if had done nothing *nothing* to you personally.

What it comes to (in)stability of their products, I dare to say that is you build your computer from well-known quality components the stability of Windows 98/NT is no less than what a customer can expect when he buys on OS that is ment to run as many different systems as possible.

And if it starts to crash after some propeller-heads registry tweaks or installing some beta drivers for your peripherals, who do you got to blame?

_
B

[Paddy]

I think that MS are a branch of the CIA.
They are listening.....

[merchant2112]

ms watches this site and has found a way to view the loged ip address (security hole in windows xx when used in conjuction with any combination of microsoft and hate on the internet.

ms uses this info to send commands to the computers connected at those ip address cuaseing crashes at random times (also a security hole in windows xx products that was also overlooked) another ms anti hate crime funtion of windows xx is that the refreseh rate of you monitor also dubles as a cat scan every time you think bad things about ms your system receves this informatioon and crashes at the worst time (for you).

hehehe

hey lets look at ms's name shall we

micro (meaning small)
soft (meaning not hard)

this is bill gates admiting that he is small and soft.

i don't need help do i ?

------------------
EVIL IS GOOD. EVIL IS LIVE SPELLED BACKWARD AND WE ALL WANT TO LIVE RIGHT ?
INTEL EVIL INSIDE, INTEL SPYCHIP INSIDE
INTEL AND MICROSOFT HAND IN HAND AS THEY SCREEEW YOU OUT OF YOUR HARD EARNED DOSH.
MICROSOFT THE OTHER EVIL EMPIRE.

[Jammrock]

I don't like M$ most software. They started many a nasty tread that has caused more headaches for users and (especially) administrators/techies than I care to count.

I suspect that the main reason why Win2k has been delayed is because they need to give developers time to get their device drivers and programs ready. The #1 problem I have had with Win2k is that I cannot use half my hardware with it, because I am an upgrade phreak and usually have fairly new hardware in it. Win2k is a pain in the butt to administer. It is slower than molasses at 0 Kelvin (and I have a PIII-500+, 256 MB RAM and a 7200 RPM HDD). It takes almost twice as long to boot than any other OS. It is WAY too big (over 500 MB for a standard install and the i386 folder on the drive). It does not allow admins to administrate the system, because Win2k thinks it is smarter than a skilled administrator. MS charges $60 for the privelage to "Preview" their newest bloatware OS...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH....tension breaker. Seriously, Win2k is going to be worthless to anyone who does not have a top-of-the-line (for the current microsecond) computer that has solid device drivers for Win2k. Maybe by February things will change.

Jammrock

PS - PIII 450 @ 500+, 256 MB SDRAM, 35 GB storage on 2x7200 RPM UDMA66 drives, Voodoo3 2000 (will be replaced by a G400 MAX this weekend), SB Live!, LinkSYS Etherfast 10/100 NIC, DSI 56k modem, Abit Hot Rod 66 controller card, ASUS P3B-F mobo, Dxr3 DVD w/ deocder, well cooled and working great...except in Win2k.

[SCompRacer]

Here's one you can take either way. Without Microsoft, we wouldn't be where we are today.

When a "visionary" is at the wheel, you have little control of where you are going.

--------------------------------------------
If Microsoft built cars...

everytime they repainted lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.

occasionally, your car would die out for no reason, and you would accept this, restart and drive on.

you could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought CarNT. But then you would have to buy more seats.

the seperate oil, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" light.

the Macintosch car owners would have to get expensive Microsoft upgrades which would make their car run slower.

new seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

the airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off.

if you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea how it happened.

--------------------------------------------
Three engineers ride in a car. An Electrical engineer, a Chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car dies out, and the engineers get out to look. The Electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car to trace where the fault occurred. The Chemical engineer suggests that maybe the fuel is emulsified and getting clogged in the lines. The Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, says why dont we get back in the car, Close the Windows and Open the Windows and maybe it will work again.



[This message has been edited by SCompRacer (edited 27 October 1999).]

[red2]

"Where would we be without M$?" Anybody remember DR DOS? Faster, better, than MS DOS. What happened? They lost OEM deals and poor management plus after M$ acquired Windows from Xerox they wouldn't allow the compatibility for it. The start of their monopilistic actions. So without M$ we would still be ok.

Bill Gates is not a visionary nor innovator.

"640K is enough for anybody" Not seeing the future.

I forget what the actual quote is but he ignored the internet at first when it became popular. Again his wonderful visionary ability.

Bill Gates did not invent DOS. He bought it off of... Damn I forget, some professor I think for $50,000.

Bill Gates did not invent Windows. He got it off of Xerox.

Bill Gates did not invent the internet. It was invented by the US military in the 1960's.

Bill Gates did not invent Win95. It is WAY too similiar to the MacOS for it to be original.

Bill Gates did invent,however, tolerance for buggy software, tolerance to pay for the patches for the buggy software, and stifling the growth of the computer industry with his shit OS, which is based on technology from 1980.

So without Bill Gates, we would be much better off.

[SteveC]

Without Bill Gates we'd all be running OS/2.
And you know what? None of our systems would have had a crash in months.

------------------
Cheers,
Steve

"The chances of anything coming from Mars, are a million-to-one", he said.