Inquiring minds want to know.

[Joel]

Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed?

If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your bottom?

Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?

Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries have a 'use by' date?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no-one would eat?

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?

What do people in China call their good plates?

Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but not to their crotch when they ask where the toilet is?

Joel

[KvHagedorn]

[ZokesPro]

Joel dude, that is the funniest shit I've read in a while!!

[LvR]

Deep man.....................very deep.

[Oboy]

Re: Inquiring minds want to know.

Originally posted by Joel

Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your bottom?

I must be able to, my wife says I dont have a BUTT!

Oboy

[Fat Tone]

Re: Inquiring minds want to know.

Originally posted by Joel
Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your bottom?

My wife can't, and I certainly don't wanna stop her

[Strahd]

What's another word for Thesaurus?

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

I planted some bird seed. A bird grew. Now I don't know what to feed it.

Sponges grow in the ocean ... that *kills* me. I wonder how much deeper the oceans would be if that didn't happen.

A cop stopped me for speeding. He said, 'Why were you going so fast?' I said, 'See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator. When you push down on it, it sends more gas to the engine. The whole car just takes right off. And see this thing? This steers it'

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.

Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.

I was Caesarian born...can't tell...except every time I leave a room, I go out through the window.

[Gurm]

Re: Inquiring minds want to know.

Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed?

Do you really need the answer to this? It's because people are weird.

If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?

According to current laws in the USA, no.

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

They can. I assume this is a joke about mascara commercials? I've seen it done many times.

Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your bottom?

Yes? (Goes to check...) Yep. Sorry. No bum-wiggling here.

Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?

You don't have to use your real name. In fact, you don't have to use your name at all. And if you DO, it's first-name only. Oh, wait - it was a rhetorical question. Can you tell I hate these ****ing things?

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

By whom?

If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?

They're not stale bread. Whatever gave you the idea that they were? They're baked.

Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries have a 'use by' date?

'Cuz it's in a plastic bottle that, contrary to popular belief, WILL biodegrade after a while.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no-one would eat?

Depends on the toast. Nice whole-grain bread just gets good and toasty on that setting. English muffins have to go down twice on that setting.

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

Yep.

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?

The same guy that saw the baby cows nursing there. What a stupid question.

What do people in China call their good plates?

Most people in China can't afford good plates.

Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest?

No.

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

He can't make a radio from a coconut. He powered the radio using the coconuts. And perhaps he isn't a carpenter (although SOMEONE on that damn show is, looking at their huts).

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but not to their crotch when they ask where the toilet is?

Pointing to your crotch indicates ... something else. Sort of like the joke about running a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area.

- Gurm

[Gurm]

What's another word for Thesaurus?

Lexicon.

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

Yep. Unless you WANT to draw a lot of attention to yourself. But silencers are far from silent, contrary to what movies tell you. So that kind of ruins your joke, doesn't it?

I planted some bird seed. A bird grew. Now I don't know what to feed it.

More bird seed.

Sponges grow in the ocean ... that *kills* me. I wonder how much deeper the oceans would be if that didn't happen.

No deeper. There aren't as many sponges as you think. Besides, a sponge can't very well fit a bigger volume of water into a smaller space. In fact, the oceans are probably DEEPER because of the sponges, since they add volume.

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.

Then you learned math. Well, maybe you did. Most high school graduates in the USA wouldn't understand this joke at all.

- Gurm

[Fat Tone]

ya know, I think I'm starting to get Gurm...

[Snake-Eyes]

Gurm, you may not enjoy these sorts of jokes, but your replies are as funny to me as the original questions themselves.

[ZokesPro]

Gurm's answers are FAR better then the questions themselves, he's so brutal and direct the way he asnwers, it's always fun to read!

[RibsteakRon]

What are you guys talking about, Gurm's answers are not funny, they are just plain stupid, written by some that lacks a sense of humor, who is not able see these jokes for what they were intended for, to make us laugh. Don't make any comments the next time Gurm, most people will just think that you are a stupid arse with too much time on your hands.

[Strahd]

Gurm while in enjoyed most of your responses, this one I didn't really like so much.


I planted some bird seed. A bird grew. Now I don't know what to feed it.




More bird seed.



Wouldn't that be considered cannibalism? Wouldn't it sort of be like a human eating a embryo?

[ZokesPro]

Originally posted by RibsteakRon
What are you guys talking about, Gurm's answers are not funny, they are just plain stupid, written by some that lacks a sense of humor, who is not able see these jokes for what they were intended for, to make us laugh. Don't make any comments the next time Gurm most, people will just think that you are a stupid arse with too much time on their hands.

You obviously haven't been at MURC that long to understand him.