Inquiring minds want to know.

[Gurm]

Strahd,

Yeah, in retrospect I wasn't too happy with that one. Hmm...

I'll have to try harder next time.

- Gurm

P.S. RumpSteakRon - my point, made through sarcastic answers to the questions themselves, was that these are STUPID. Usually they contain completely idiotic plays on words that would only be found hilarious by a retarded 4th-grader on crack.

You know what I hate even more? Those damn lists of supposed "facts" about the origins of things, or just about the world in general. Usually, all of their "facts" are completely inaccurate or display a callous disregard for deeper understanding. *shrug*

You know what I hate more than that? People that assume that I'm just being an ass for the sake of being an ass, without trying to understand my cynical motivations.

- Gurm

[Strahd]

Originally posted by Gurm
You know what I hate more than that? People that assume that I'm just being an ass for the sake of being an ass, without trying to understand my cynical motivations.

Are you saying you're an Ass with purpose.

Originally posted by Gurm
Yeah, in retrospect I wasn't too happy with that one. Hmm...

I'll have to try harder next time.

Gurm, I'll work on finding one for you to redeem yourself.

[ZokesPro]

Originally posted by Gurm
Usually they contain completely idiotic plays on words that would only be found hilarious by a retarded 4th-grader on crack.

- Gurm

Originally posted by ZokesPro
Joel dude, that is the funniest shit I've read in a while!!

So Gurm, the fact that I found that stuff funny, does that make me a "retarded 4th grader on crack"? Maybe I was on pcp or acid, you don't know what drugs I was taking when I was in 4th grade! (kidding)

[Strahd]

And here they are:

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?


If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?


If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?


If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?


Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"


How do blind people know when they are done wiping?


What was the best thing before sliced bread?


Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?



Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?



Edit: And Zokes, you an me are both retarded 4th graders.:drool:

[agallag]

Gurm, we don't think you act like an ass for no good reason. You act like an ass because you ARE an ass. A damn funny one too. That's why we like you so much

You just say out loud what most of the rest of us are thinking...

[ZokesPro]

Originally posted by Strahd

Edit: And Zokes, you an me are both retarded 4th graders.:drool:

Except I had a cool electric wheel chair!

[ZokesPro]

Originally posted by agallag
Gurm, we don't think you act like an ass for no good reason. You act like an ass because you ARE an ass. A damn funny one too. That's why we like you so much

You just say out loud what most of the rest of us are thinking...

exactly!

[Strahd]

Originally posted by ZokesPro


Except I had a cool electric wheel chair!

Dammit. All they gave me was a hockey helmet.

[Gurm]

To start...

Yes Zokes, you are a retarded 4th grader on crack. In a good way, honestly!

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

The true nonsarcastic answer to this question is that evolution, we are discovering, doesn't work quite like we thought it did. The fossil record, as well as some serious biological evidence, points to sudden, rapid evolutionary changes, often leaving previous evolutionary steps fully intact. There is slow steady evolutionary progress between bursts (galapagos turtles, or the fact that we humans are currently a full foot taller on average than we were just a century ago) but MOST of the startling evolutionary changes happen virtually overnight (evolutionarily speaking overnight is still a few thousand years). It pisses traditional evolutionists off, but that's how the evidence is looking at this point.

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

No. The point of washing the mouth out with soap was NOT to cleanse the dirty words, but to taste NASTY. She'd still stick it in his mouth. Of course, in today's society, that's probably abuse. *shrug* Ask Dancray. (Ouch!)

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?

We're ALWAYS wrong. You will learn this someday, young one.

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Nope. Spectator sport.

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

No. Practice, like many words in many languages, simply has two meanings. In this case the meanings form an amusing 'pun'. Ironically, other languages have different sorts of puns. Chinese, I'm given to understand, has particularly amusing ones involving sets of words that sound almost exactly the same, especially to western ears. "Shao shao pao pao shao pao shao lao pao" or some such. *shrug* Just what I've heard.

How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

Isn't it obvious? They sniff.

[quote\What was the best thing before sliced bread? [/quote]

Churned butter.

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

DAMMIT. You had to give me another one I couldn't be cute about.

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

They seem to spend an inordinate amount of their infancy screaming, so I'm guessing "no".

- Gurm

[Gurm]

Agallag,

I'm not REALLY an ass. It's a specific persona that I maintain here - perhaps at the expense of some "friends" (I put it in quotes because if they got scared off they weren't really friends, plus the value of the average cyber-friendship is overrated. There are exceptions to that rule - you know who you are, people - but not as many as the idiots who get married online and then divorced three weeks later would have you believe!).

- Gurm

[RibsteakRon]

Spurm you are a ****ing idiot, tell me something oh Dick breath, do you look in the mirror when talking, I mean do you think that your answers contain that much insight? I bet that you masturbate a lot. Do you scrutinize all humor in this way, must it always be 100% realistic? Did your mother beat you when you were a kid? Take your time with the answers to these difficult questions your fricken moron, we would all appreciate something intelligent from you

[Strahd]

Originally posted by Gurm
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Nope. Spectator sport.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


How do blind people know when they are done wiping?


Isn't it obvious? They sniff.

- Gurm

Gurm, you have totally redeemed yourself. These count for the back to the drawing board and bird seed ones.


PS: Who you calling young one?

[Gurm]

PS: Who you calling young one?

Perhaps "Gr****opper" would have been better?

- Gurm

[ZokesPro]

Originally posted by RibsteakRon
Spurm you are a ****ing idiot, tell me something oh Dick breath, do you look in the mirror when talking, I mean do you think that your answers contain that much insight? I bet that you masturbate a lot. Do you scrutinize all humor in this way, must it always be 100% realistic? Did your mother beat you when you were a kid? Take your time with the answers to these difficult questions your fricken moron, we would all appreciate something intelligent from you

Oh well, some people like him some don't.

Edit: If you don't like him than just ignore him.

Update: I'm gonna stay out of this, just to let you know I have nothing against you. Gurm's opinoins are his own.

[ZokesPro]

Originally posted by Gurm
To start...

Yes Zokes, you are a retarded 4th grader on crack. In a good way, honestly!

- Gurm

Can you elaborate a little on that? It's veri intriquing!