This weeks dumb people ringing the helpdesk

[The PIT]

Dumb user on broadband.

I've just installed VPN client and it doesn't work properly.
Checking that the user has installed it the user comments that her broadband isn't working.

Dumb user two.

Theres a link saying I need to download this file should I download it?

Dumb user three.

I just downloaded the instructions what do I need to do now.

Answer. How about reading them.

Dumb user four.

I cannot connect to the University becuase BT broadband is down. This isn't the first user.

Answer: You'll need to contact BT then sir.

Dumb user. But can't you fix it.

[Technoid]

ROFL

[thop]

There is no such thing as a dumb user .. only unhelpful tech support

[The PIT]

Originally posted by thop
There is no such thing as a dumb user .. only unhelpful tech support

Hate to shatter your illusion. Theres only dumb users.

Dumb user:

I don't know my password.

Helpdesk

Okay you're forgotten it we'll reset it.

Dumb user:

I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN IT I JUST CAN'T REMEMBER IT.

Helpdesk

Isn't that the samething ???

Dumb User

Silence.

Dumb User:

I've just reset my password and it doesn't work.

Amazing a few seconds is all it took for them to forget.

Dumb User:

My email doesn't work.

Of course they came in yesterday and asked for it to be changed to webmail. They're still trying to use the old system.

[gpremec]

Re: This weeks dumb people ringing the helpdesk

Originally posted by The PIT
Dumb user two.

Theres a link saying I need to download this file should I download it?

Priceles...

How viruses comes in LAN?

Realy, realy dumb user:
"I recived some attachment in my mail, so I opened it. Nothing happend, so I opnened it again. And again. And again. And again. Is it something wrong with my Outlook?"

[The PIT]

Dumb user:

I've mailed everyone in my address book about the Teddy Bear virus. It's on my computer and I've deleted it and I've told everyone else to delete it.

Helpdesk:

Thats a hoax now you better email everyone quickly and tell them not to do it or even better ring them. In future can you check with us before taking any action.

Dumb User

Oh.

[thop]

You can't expect the average joe to be a computer expert the first time they touch a computer. That's why they are calling tech support, and thats what tech supports job is ... to help the user!

If you were be my tech support PIT i'd be filing a complaint to your supervisor right now!

[gpremec]

Originally posted by thop
There is no such thing as a dumb user .. only unhelpful tech support

I see you never worked on helpdesk.

Dumb user:

My computer is eating my floppy disks! I allready put 20 or more Floppys in it.

(The user was pushing Floppys beatween floppy drive and CD-ROM, there was a small gap).

Another dumb user:

I put floppy in floppy drive and it doesn't comes out.

(A Pionner slot-in CD-ROM).

[gpremec]

Originally posted by The PIT
Dumb user:

I've mailed everyone in my address book about the Teddy Bear virus. It's on my computer and I've deleted it and I've told everyone else to delete it.

Helpdesk:

Thats a hoax now you better email everyone quickly and tell them not to do it or even better ring them. In future can you check with us before taking any action.

Dumb User

Oh.

Every 3 months the same story. Those days of the year, I just wish to own a cannon.

[thop]

I used to do tech support ... that wasn't really my job description, but a side effect of it. I guess you've never dealt with old people (not the bitter type) during tech support, that will teach you some lessons concerning patience There are genuinely dumb computer users, but the majority calling are not.

It's like putting you in a space shuttle and expect you to fly to the moon. Soon you'll be calling NASA tech support and ask what the red button, the green button, the yellow button etc. is for - then you'll be the laughing stock of NASA! Any similarities?

To ease tech supports work i'm actually in support of some kind of "drivers license" for computer users to learn the absolut basics first.

[Kooldino]

Yeah, people are stupid. Go see my thread if you haven't already.

[Gurm]

Look, Thop. It's not that we assume that they're stupid, but some of them are ****ing humdingers.

User: The computer isn't working.

Me: Ok, are the lights on?

User: No.

Me: Ok, let's check the power plug.

User: Ok, hold on... hmm, hard to tell if it's plugged in.

Me: Well just move the PC so you can see...

User: No, see it's dark because the power's out, so it's really hard to see.

Me: You are too stupid to live. *bang*

Gpar_

[Dr Mordrid]

Dr. Mordrid

[thop]

Sure there are dumb enough users out there (i've heard them), but most of the time the problem is tech supports impatience. Having said that the vast majority of people doing tech support got the wrong job - and with that lousy payment i doubt that will change anytime soon.

[GNEP]

Well I've been the equivalent in terms of accountancy the last few days - having built and now administering our 10 year planning model, I get asked DUMB questions about depreciation calculations and how cashflows are worked out.

Doesn't really have the same humour though

But the best is always from Latin America - "When is the deadline for getting some initial numbers to you?"

"Last Friday." (Having left countless emails and voicemails to chase).

"Oh so if I get them to you next Tuesday that's still OK then is it?"

"No."

"Oh. When should I have them ready then?"

"As soon as possible. Now would be nice, gracias."

"OK I'll try and get them in by Tuesday then." (This would be a week and a half late, them having known the deadline for THREE MONTHS...)

Me: "OK, I know you already have some numbers from a previous exercise - why don't you send me that spreadsheet now and I'll see if I can get something out of it... And then get the real numbers in tomorrow. OK?"

"OK"

...10pm the next evening and my mobile rings. "Ah. Glad I got you in the office."

"You didn't. I am at home and have been for some hours. THERE'S A FRIGGING TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LONDON AND SANTIAGO."

"Oh. Sorry. I have the spreadsheet for you."

"Ah. Thanks. I thought you were going to send it yesterday?"

"I couldn't find it. But I'll email it to you now."

"Thanks. I'll be expecting the proper numbers on the intranet model tomorrow then."

"OK."

I still haven't seen the real numbers a week later so have made up a ten year projection for the entire Latin American Commercial business for the next 10 years myself. Serve them damn well right when the really big bosses ask them about the assumptions underlying the numbers