This weeks dumb people ringing the helpdesk

[Admiral]

Me: Ok, let's check the power plug.

User: Ok, hold on... hmm, hard to tell if it's plugged in.

Me: Well just move the PC so you can see...

User: No, see it's dark because the power's out, so it's really hard to see.

That's too rich to believe

[Marshmallowman]

Watched a beauty yesterday..

The room next mine is for Tech support, and the poor support guy was try to tell the user to press a key on there keyboard.... The user evdiently thought they knew what they ere doing, becasue they knew what a desktop was...kind of,

>tech: press this key
> user: but there is not one there
> tech: the keyboard on your desk
>user there is no keyboard on my desktop

Usualy you say look on your desktop (aka screen) to find somethjing to click, but in this case he spent 20 minutes trying to get him to realise it was not the "desktop" but the desk

Just watched the poor support dude get more and more wound up...painfull and funny to watch at the same time

[The PIT]

Originally posted by thop
I used to do tech support ... that wasn't really my job description, but a side effect of it. I guess you've never dealt with old people (not the bitter type) during tech support, that will teach you some lessons concerning patience There are genuinely dumb computer users, but the majority calling are not.
.

Yes we have old users one typically comes in one minute before close shop. He knows full well we close at five and never listens to a word we say. He ain't dumb all the time just annoying and ignorant. I think his account has now expired so we don't have to help him.
Strangely most of the dumb users fall into one catagory Nursing. I'm now very afraid to go into hospital becuase 99% of them are 12:00 flashers.

[The PIT]

Originally posted by thop
Sure there are dumb enough users out there (i've heard them), but most of the time the problem is tech supports impatience. Having said that the vast majority of people doing tech support got the wrong job - and with that lousy payment i doubt that will change anytime soon.

I wasn't taken on to do the helpdesk just roped in. After you had three or four dumb users on the trot your patiance does start to go. Sadly some are beyond help. It would help if departments actally checked their basic computing skills, english skills, some can't even speak a word of english so you can't tell if they're being dumb or not, if they checked those and used the provided courses it would really help the user and us out.
The ones you can't help are the ones that don't know what there own name is where they are and can't explain at all what the problem is.

[Wombat]

When I worked tech support we had a friend that would hang out at the desk. A particularly annoying user came in. After a number of questions indicating how 1) clueless and 2) witless this luser was, our buddy responded with "Sorry, but we don't have that software, it's for Macs. Go to the artsci lab."

Total bullshit, but it saved us so much trouble I think we used the same line once or twice later on. Actually, we just had him use it - he didn't work there, so he couldn't be fired.

[The PIT]

Dumb user: My Monitor doesn't work. In very very poor english.
Helpdesk: Okay is there a light on the front of the monitor.
Dumb User: I don't understand.
Helpdesk: Can you look at the bottom of the monitor and tell me whether there is a light on.
Dumb User: I don't understand.
Click.
Seconds later phone rings again same dumb user.
Dumb user: My Monitor doesn't work.
Helpdesk: Which room are you in? Thionking to send someone over.
Dumb User: I don't understand.
Helpdesk: Where abouts are you.
Dumb User: I don't know.
Helpdesk:I'm going to send someone to see you but I need to know where you are.
Dumb User: I don't understand.
Click.
Seconds later phone rang and another person answered it. Same user and the same conversation. Eventually the dumb user gave up.

[gpremec]

Originally posted by Gurm
Look, Thop. It's not that we assume that they're stupid, but some of them are ****ing humdingers.

User: The computer isn't working.

Me: Ok, are the lights on?

User: No.

Me: Ok, let's check the power plug.

User: Ok, hold on... hmm, hard to tell if it's plugged in.

Me: Well just move the PC so you can see...

User: No, see it's dark because the power's out, so it's really hard to see.

Me: You are too stupid to live. *bang*

Gpar_

I have that once a week.

User: My printer is out of paper. Becouse I didn't had any training about putting paper in printer, you have 2 minutes to do it. I'm in a hurry.
Me: Training? Nobady had any training for putting paper in printer. What if people who are in location about 1000km away from as call and ask the same thing?
User: They probably had training for putting paper in printer.
Me: No, they didn't. Call them and ask them.
Tomorow:
User: I'm still waiting for somebody to put paper in my printer.
Me: Woah?

The person that called works in that room and with that printer for more than 3 years, but person that works in the same room is on hollyday.

User2: Yesterday you changed my monitor, so my printer is not working anymore.

[gpremec]

This I have once a month:

User: My computer is beeping like hell and it won't stop.
Me: Please remove registrator book off the keybord.
User: How did you now?


This one shocked me:

Riiiing.
Me: Hello?
User: I lost my start! Where is my start?
Me: Whot?
User: Where is my start? I lost it!
Me: Whit whom am I speaking? What start?
User: I can't find start! Help me!
...
After 5 minutes of speaking on the phove whit user, frend told me that the user probably means "Start button in Windows". The user pulled down the Taskbar.

[Technoid]

I have started to get this reply more often:
"now don't get technical on me and try to BS me with that 'computer language'"
often they say it after every sentence you say


Mostly I think the "computer stupidity" comes from the fact that a computer require som thinking!
A tv on the other hand requires almost no thinking at all and people seems to think that computers will be as their TV, jsut push a button and it will entertain you

And when you think about the fact that there are lots of people who cant even handle their remote controll

[Lambo-Fan]

In some situations (O.K, it's an understatement) it must be damn hard to stay calm and serious.
Perhaps it goes like this:

[High_Jumbllama]

THere were some callers I felt deeply sorry for. Imagine being a teacher or faculty member that is told to fix the problem with the reading software with barely having worked a word processor before if even a computer and the database has crashed due to a lack of maintenance runs for over a year and there were no backups made and there is no one person if any in charge of the computers to deal with. Consequently most of the student grades are gone for the year.

I once had a four hour call and couple dozen 2 hour calls for these reasons with minimal success rates.

[Gurm]

Yup. And somehow IT/Support always gets blamed, despite the fact that we TELL them that those "cutbacks" are really hurting them.

- Gurm

[ZokesPro]

Some users aren't stupid, instead they shut off theirs brains and expect you to tell them EVERYTHING!!!


Example. (this actually happened)

Me: Ok, we're going to restart your system, you've done this before right?
User: Oh yeah, of course!
Me: Ok, then, let's restart your system.
User: *silence*
Me: Can you restart your system please??
User: Ok, how?
Me: *sigh* Click on Start.
User: Ok, then what?
Me: You've done this before right?
User: Well d'uh!
Me: Ok, just making sure, so let's keep going.
User: Ok, what do I do now?
Me: Then click on Shutdown.
User: Ok, then what?
Me: Then click on Restart.
User: Ok, then what?
Me: Then click OK.

When people call tech support, they become COMPLETELY useless. The best way I can describe it is that your the puppet master and they are your puppet. Puppets have no brains, and even if they did, it's only so they can bitch at you.

It makes me so mad just thinking about it. Thankfully I don't have to deal with that anymore.

[Gurm]

The worst part is when _I_ have to call support for something.

Me: I'm not an idiot. I do this for a living, I've been your supervisor before. Just pass me through to a level 2 tech, there's a problem with the signal on my street.

Them: Ok, can you click on...

Me: No. Pass me through to a level 2 tech NOW.

Them: Which OS are you running?

Gpar_

[az]

Well, I kinda have the same problem, but what are they to do? There are so many people out there who genuinely think they're computer cracks, some even have some kind of certificate, who still can't do anything that goes beyond their daily routine (which they've memorized to the mouseclick, but not understood), but who start a call with throwing a thousand technical terms at you.

AZ