Never Say To A Cop

[Brian Ellis]

NEVER SAY TO A COP

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

[Technoid]

ROFL

[TransformX]

No. 12

[Jammrock]

13. Take me drunk, I'm home ossifer!!!

Jammrock

[Admiral]

3 & 8

[Tjalfe]

[Dr Mordrid]

Many years ago I got a ticket for driving too slow on the freeway (50 mph, 5 over the minimum ) because I was heading west in the slow lane and the sun was too low for my sunvisor to block. Before I was pulled over I saw the cop driving like Jackie Stewart trying to get up to me. Once stopped I asked him;

"Officer; given your driving to catch up to me just which of the two of us was the greater danger to the other drivers on this road?"

He didn't like it so I got a ticket for blocking traffic.

The judge saw it MY way and roundly scolded him for his own driving.

Case dismissed and court costs charged to the city

Dr. Mordrid

[Brian R.]

Too many donuts

[Dr Mordrid]

Sad part is that it's not unusual for Michigan cops to drive like this or worse.

Two of our local freeways; I-696 (East/West) and M-14 (Detroit metro area to Ann Arbor) are great examples. You often see traffic going 85 mph on those roads even though the limit is 70 mph.

Problem is the cops can be seen doing 90 mph on either route with a cup of joe in one hand a donut in the on-deck circle

Dr. Mordrid

[Fred H]

[Lambo-Fan]

Wait officer, just lemme finish my beer! *burbs*

[Chrono_Wanderer]

LOL@Doc. That's a classic

btw, LOL@ 1 and 12 somethings really funny about donuts and cops

[ZokesPro]

Originally posted by Dr Mordrid
Many years ago I got a ticket for driving too slow on the freeway (50 mph, 5 over the minimum ) because I was heading west in the slow lane and the sun was too low for my sunvisor to block. Before I was pulled over I saw the cop driving like Jackie Stewart trying to get up to me. Once stopped I asked him;

"Officer; given your driving to catch up to me just which of the two of us was the greater danger to the other drivers on this road?"

He didn't like it so I got a ticket for blocking traffic.

The judge saw it MY way and roundly scolded him for his own driving.

Case dismissed and court costs charged to the city

Dr. Mordrid

That's retarded, glad you won it!

[Dr Mordrid]

Almost as bad as when my son Chris was charged for turfing (driving on someones grass & tearing it up) at an apartment complex a few miles from out home. He had been there deliving ads as part of his summer job, but didn't do the turfing.

We went to trial and it lasted all of 15 minutes; just long enough for me to put up a photo of the turfing tracks with an overlaying measuring tape and a similar photo of the measurements of Chris's Dodge Dakota.

Turfing tracks: 48" wide outside to outside

Dakota: 64" wide outside to outside

Oops.....

Then I presented the fact that the turfing tracks were consistant with a pre-1995 Chevy S-10, of which there were three in the immediate area.

After this it was real tough on the cop & prosecutor because the whole courtroom was laughing at 'em (including the jury).

Next the judge denied a motion by the prosecutor to quiet the courtroom. Then the judge joined in the phun for at least a minute

Finally he strongly bitched out both for the poor investigation and dismissed the case. He also said a letter from his office was going to the mayor and chief judge of the court on the issue.

Dr. Mordrid

[ZokesPro]

Originally posted by Dr Mordrid
After this it was real tough on the cop & prosecutor because the whole courtroom was laughing at 'em (including the jury).

Next the judge denied a motion by the prosecutor to quiet the courtroom. Then the judge joined in the phun for at least a minute

Finally he strongly bitched out both for the poor investigation and dismissed the case. He also said a letter from his office was going to the mayor and chief judge of the court on the issue.

Dr. Mordrid

Wow!
Are you sure your not a lawyer??