Potty-training requirements for our ladies

[LvR]

.

[Brian Ellis]

Oh, so true (or, at least, it was until a few years ago; now, it would hardly cut molten butter, let alone diamonds)!

[Paddy]

you gotta perfect the leaning over the bowl lunge

[LvR]

Since we are on the topic............


We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the Rules from the male side. These are our rules:-



Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE AS THEY ARE ALL THE ONE GOLDEN RULE



1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do

it. Don't try to change that.



1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big

girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up,

you need it down. You don't hear us complaining

about you leaving it down.



1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or

the changing of the tides. Let it be.



1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never

going to think of it that way.



1. Crying is blackmail.



1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this

one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do

not work! Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!



1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to

almost every question.



1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help

solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what

your girlfriends are for.



1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a

problem. See a doctor.



1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in

an argument. In fact, all comments become null

and void after 7 days.



1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't

ask us.



1. If something we said can be interpreted two

ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or

angry, we meant the other one.



1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us

how you want it done. Not both. If you already

know best how to do it, just do it yourself.



1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have

to say during commercials.



1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and

neither do we.



1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows

default settings. Peach, for example, is a

fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We

have no idea what Mauve is.



1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.



1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"

we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you

are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.



1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer

to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.



1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely

anything you wear is fine. Really.



1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless

you are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex,

Sport, or Cars.



1. You have enough clothes.



1. You have too many shoes.



1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.



Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like
camping.



Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education!!

[KvHagedorn]

I have a friend who has a little girl. The guest bathroom is also her bathroom, so the toilet seat is one of those small round things that only a small female human could go to the bathroom on. Thank heavens I've never had to go #2 there.. we males really need those elongated seats. But there's another thing.. the seat has that foam padding on it, so forget trying to get it to stay up.

On the morning wood issue.. why is this an issue? That's what the bathtub/shower stall is for. Run a little water after you do your business and no one will know.

[PAugustin]

that's nice

[schmosef]

Originally posted by KvHagedorn
On the morning wood issue.. why is this an issue? That's what the bathtub/shower stall is for. Run a little water after you do your business and no one will know.

I couldn't find a delicate way to say this so I left it for someone else to explain.

As far as I can tell, this is a secret that the girls don't know about. Let's not ruin it for men everywhere by spreading the word too far. Can you imagine the morning bathroom inspections if our women knew what we were doing in there?

[az]

You know, the morning boner really is a non-issue. Just jack off more...

AZ

[az]

Schmosef, do you REALLY think girls don't know this? Do you REALLY think they don't know when you're watching pr0n? They just let you keep your "secrets"

AZ

[Ozbreeze]

for some things it's better to know and pretend not to, that way there is peace Thus part of the reason there is always lysol in the bathroom...spray the shower before entering

[Tjalfe]

bah.. pee is sterile

[gt40]

Originally posted by tjalfe
bah.. pee is sterile

Yep, never got anybody pregnant.


- that's what you meant right??

[The Rock]

Bah! I have solved this problem. You just tell the wife/GF "look, it can't bend when its hard, so if you would just *ahem* soften the damn thing every morning, I would easily be able to comply with your request". How badly does your wife/GF want you to pee sitting down?

[KvHagedorn]

Originally posted by The Rock
Bah! I have solved this problem. You just tell the wife/GF "look, it can't bend when its hard, so if you would just *ahem* soften the damn thing every morning, I would easily be able to comply with your request". How badly does your wife/GF want you to pee sitting down?

OK, I was going to say something sick and disgusting, but if you've got a dirty mind, you probably already thought of it too, so nevermind.

[schmosef]

Well I've thought of it now...

Thanks KVH!