argggg...

[Gurm]

eh.. maybe so... but that dosent mean freindship cannot exists....

According to ladder theory, you're an intellectual whore. Congratulations!

[Claymonkey]

All I have to say on this is that EVERY guy in the back of him mind thinks about sex with EVERY woman he's ever met. Even if he gets a brief mental image, goes 'EWWW' and tries to cleans his mind to the horror.

The fact that every woman is thought that way helps proves the theory about the ladder. If you disagree.. think, really think. Is there a girl you haven't thought of that way at least once? Ever? I dare you! Revulsion counts for thinking about it.

[Gurm]

All I have to say on this is that EVERY guy in the back of him mind thinks about sex with EVERY woman he's ever met. Even if he gets a brief mental image, goes 'EWWW' and tries to cleans his mind to the horror.

The fact that every woman is thought that way helps proves the theory about the ladder. If you disagree.. think, really think. Is there a girl you haven't thought of that way at least once? Ever? I dare you! Revulsion counts for thinking about it.

Exactly. You even think about your own family members that way. You go "EWWW that's disgusting!"... and that counts. They're in a large hole waaaaaaay at the bottom of your ladder.

Ladder theory is valid for all cases to date. The fact that it may not be perfectly formed does not stop it from being empirically valid for all known relationships on this planet. Newtonian Physics is incomplete and fails to explain a great deal about the universe, but that doesn't mean that apples don't still fall to the ground.

[KvHagedorn]

Actually, I think women consider every man, too. They say "ewww" to a lot more of them though.

[TransformX]

Actually, I think women consider every man, too. They say "ewww" to a lot more of them though.

LOL, true!!!

[Umfriend]

I have not thought about sex with every woman I have ever met. I have thought about sex with a lot of women I have not met though.

[VJ]

I have not thought about sex with every woman I have ever met. I have thought about sex with a lot of women I have not met though.

Sounds to me that this is a good candidate for the (in)famous MURC Quotes !


Jörg

[schmosef]

I have not thought about sex with every woman I have ever met. I have thought about sex with a lot of women I have not met though.

LOL!

[SpiralDragon]

All I have to say on this is that EVERY guy in the back of him mind thinks about sex with EVERY woman he's ever met. Even if he gets a brief mental image, goes 'EWWW' and tries to cleans his mind to the horror.

The fact that every woman is thought that way helps proves the theory about the ladder. If you disagree.. think, really think. Is there a girl you haven't thought of that way at least once? Ever? I dare you! Revulsion counts for thinking about it.

i am not sure how to respond to that... its kind of wierd with me... its difuclt to explain my situation other than in the folowing...

sex is not realy a priority for me although it ads significantly to a relationship... OTH very simple phisical conact is usualy enugh for me.. eg.. holding hands... stroking hair... sex.. for me.. is simply a tool to augment emotional pleasure by indulging all the scenses in the act of atemting to achive oneness with the other.....

emotional pleasure is by far more important for me.... this one freind who barly talks to me now for instence... we could be siting tables apart and not talking but the communication that goes on between our eyes is intense.... for a while i thought i was emagening things.. that i was being delusonal .... and maybe even thinking that this communication existed because i was too hopfull... untill several of my freinds pointed out without me asking or knowing that i had feelings for her or that she and i no longer talk to eachother ... that this intence eye communication is indeed real, not imagined and defentivley not one sided.... that confuses me even more .... she has made it clear that she and i are only "colegues" and not more.. that "we where never freinds" yet she cares enugh to bring me gifts from half way across the world... and the next day stop talking to me again... shes got me going mad......



incidentaly... my emotional needs can be satisfied by a male too.... i am not a homosexual.. but i have no feer of being caled one... nore do i even have feer of being seen in public kissing a known homsexual... i just dont usualy get that close to men because people here tend to have violent homophobic reactions... this behaviour of mine has alot of people confused by the way....

and no i am not bisexual either...


what i am, however, is a person with toomuch love to give and non to be given back....



the girl in the first post of this thread.... i asked her over because she is very well know for her sexual freedom... i asked her over with sexual intent in mind.... we had a cuple of joints.... and i am very reactive to Js (although i manage to maintain a high level of control.. aplies to when i am drunk too) we where both high.... i was masaging her back.. she asked if she could lie down on my bed while i was masaging her... and i let her.... the opertunity was all there for me to take advantage of..... however.. being the empath that i am i realised that despite all her gigels, laughter and seduction... she was hiding allot of pain... and being the "good" person that i am i just had to investigate... and behold.. i was right..... every one who knows here tells me that she is a care free person and that they have tried several times to get to talk about her problems and her insecurities, while sober and while under the influence... she always remaind the care free person or resisted violently...... it took me exactly 4 minuts to get her talking.... when she walked out it was as if a huge burdun had been lifted off her shoulders... and what a burden it was..... the guilt she had... i will not betray her trust and relay what she told me... but it was some realy havy shit.... but when she left i could feel that she atleast had a moment of real hapiness..... now why didnt i just let things be... after all i did invite her over with sex in mind.. a one night stand... .. so maybe this answers your question... that yes.. although i am a male and i do need to satisfy my sexual urges... i cant do it with just about any one.. that person has to have something special.. .and that something special... i mean .. although i invited this girl over for sexual reasons only... i did not just invite her over because she is an easy girl... there are far too many easy girls here.... i spesificly invited her because she is the only easy girl i know that i think is special in some ways... any way.. the point is that although i had sex in mind... my sense of freindship pervailed....

[SpiralDragon]

ok... i've been reading further down that lader link....

i would like to point out the folowing...

women (alot of them) describe me in the folowing ay:

too nice
difrrent from any man they have ever met
Intimidating
trustworthy
great listener...
overwhelming to absorb

this is not a composit of various things women say about me... its what several ladies have actualy said to me

[Elie]

ok... i've been reading further down that lader link....

i would like to point out the folowing...

women (alot of them) describe me in the folowing ay:

too nice
difrrent from any man they have ever met
Intimidating
trustworthy
great listener...
overwhelming to absorb

this is not a composit of various things women say about me... its what several ladies have actualy said to me

OK here is my recommendation from experience...

Let's take your list...

1-too nice, no women wants a too nice of a guy!!! If you analyze that further you will cme up with one conclusion "after the first date, she wasn't interested and women typically come up with this saying"

2-difrrent from any man they have ever met, this is BS, being different is what makes us human and unique! (yet another excuse to get out of a relation ship fast)

3-Intimidating, you must have said a few things during the date that made them feel unconfortable)

4-trustworthy, another sign of disaster LOL, Women want the sneaky SOB!!

5-great listener... (this one is interesting, this could mean that you didn't say much during the date or a modest compliment but nothing drastic)

6-overwhelming to absorb, to absorb what???????????

Anyway folks, Lebanese women are weird and very very picky so nothing is unusual here

Cheers,
Elie

[Claymonkey]

Spiral - as one nice guy to another (and Gurm can verify that I am an nice guy to a fault) there was nothing wrong with what you did. You can't stop being who you are. If you can tell when something is wrong with someone and not act... then you are hurting yourself if that is your nature to do such. Of course ALWAYS helping others at the expense of yourself is a bad idea too. You didn't do that here though, you've said yourself that sex is a minor aspect of what you want out of a relationship. So.. you gave up some cheap nookie and actually, TRULY, helped someone. You connected with someone and helped them, no small thing. Personally, I believe in karma, all the good you've done, all the crap you've dealt with, it will come back around. I've seen the loops to much in my life to think otherwise. Of course karma only paves the way, you still have to grab opportunities (the right ones) by the horns and go with it. As for finding the right kinds of girls... that can be the hard part. I'd suggest finding some new circles to augment (not replace) your present ones to find some new interests. Join a new group based on your interests (in my case I'd find an artist drawing group) and meet some new people. As for what women have consistently said to you.... I'm not going to tell you to not be yourself, because that never works, and the women it would work on aren't the kind you'd want anyway. However, I would suggest toning it down a bit at first. You never show your full hand at first and you let people get to know you before they see all facates of what Spiral is. You'll allow for a chance for them to be interested in you as a relationship, and not just a good friend. One of the first things geeks like us often have to learn is most people don't like the stuff we like... and talk about constantly. Girls don't want to hear the nuances of your computer. Of course, based on what you've said.. you know this. If you can 'get' people as well as you've said... use it. But, again, don't show your hand, don't weird them out with how much yuou know. Instead, use the knowledge and instinct to know where to draw the conversation, and turn it internally and get a feel for what parts of you is ok to show at that time (and if its the right one.. you'll get to show all of it in time).

Anyway, I still stand behind what I said earlier... just tweak it for what you are. So sex isn't a big deal, then think of it as a emotional relationship ladder. You've probably thought about your emotional relationship with every girl you've ever thought about. Hell, you can include the guys on that ladder too.. It's a simple ladder for the emotional connection to everyone you've ever met.

[Claymonkey]

and I say ALL of this as a guy that's been in your shoes, still learning the game.. but has learned a lot (shush gurm)

Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox, you've always come across as a good guy, and I hate to see one of our own down.

[SpiralDragon]

OK here is my recommendation from experience...


6-overwhelming to absorb, to absorb what???????????

has to do with my feeling of non belonging

Anyway folks, Lebanese women are weird and very very picky so nothing is unusual here

aint that the ****ing truth.... lol

[SpiralDragon]

@Claymonkey

i know i am just going through one of my drastic phases right now.... i just want it to be over soon... i am really beging to get tiered...