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Greasy MacBooks Have Venereal Disease

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  • Greasy MacBooks Have Venereal Disease



    from Consumerist.com:
    What do these things have in common? The thighs of a cheap harlot. The armpit stains saturating a large Italian man’s undershirt. The Cheetos-dusted palms of a role-playing gamer. A used piece of toilet paper. A three-week old Macbook.

    Answer? They are all ****ing disgusting.

    Courtesy of our Gizmodo brethren, we came across the revolting news that Apple’s newest laptops start actively decomposing when exposed to human sweat. The heat of the plastic causes it to gel with the oils and greases in your palms, permanently staining the computer with what appears to be the first outward signs of syphilis.

    Who would have thought that a MacBook would not only have the color of a sanitary napkin, it would also have its absorbency?
    P.S. You've been Spanked!

  • #2
    "nerdsweatoluene" ROFL
    If there's artificial intelligence, there's bound to be some artificial stupidity.

    Jeremy Clarkson "806 brake horsepower..and that on that limp wrist faerie liquid the Americans call petrol, if you run it on the more explosive jungle juice we have in Europe you'd be getting 850 brake horsepower..."

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    • #3
      Well, the G4 iBooks and PowerBooks had similar problems. Though in this case, employing the use of various cleaners seems to do the trick for removing the stains. Of course, we're talking some heavier duty cleaners than what most people would try initially. Some people have had luck by using the Magic Eraser cleaning pads or certain eraser heads.

      There are a few other notebooks, such as ones from Sony, that suffer from the same problem.

      Moral of this story? Wash your damn hands
      “And, remember: there's no 'I' in 'irony'” ~ Merlin Mann

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      • #4
        If your laptop gets that dirty than you obviously have a hygiene problem, or you don't properly take care of your equipement.
        Last edited by ZokesPro; 14 June 2006, 06:05.
        Titanium is the new bling!
        (you heard from me first!)

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        • #5
          Originally posted by ZokesPro
          If your laptop gets that dirty than you obviously have a hygiene problem.
          That is not politically correct. It's a well known fact that some people have very corrosive exudations from their hands and there is nothing, absolutely nothing, the anyone can do to lessen it.

          I employed a lady as operator of a printed circuit drilling machine. The platen had to be in tool steel and no oil was permitted as it would contaminate the printed circuits. This lady could make those platens rust literally within 5 minutes, also some other parts, even though she wore knitted cotton gloves, replaced every half-shift. I had to take her off the job and give her another. I also had problems with ladies at certain times of the month; apparently, the exudations from the hands become more corrosive just before and during menstruation.

          So, it is not a question of hygiene.
          Brian (the devil incarnate)

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Jesterzwild

            There are a few other notebooks, such as ones from Sony, that suffer from the same problem.
            Can you name these notebooks that have the same problem? I'll avoid them when buying. I heard that some Toshiba models using the same material suffer as well.

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            • #7
              Politically correct??

              I do understand that some people's skin might react differently than the average person, and in that respect I understand that this can happen to some select people.
              Titanium is the new bling!
              (you heard from me first!)

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              • #8
                Originally posted by ZokesPro
                Politically correct??
                Yup! you are discriminating against someone with a disability about which they can do nothing by accusing them of faulty hygiene.
                Brian (the devil incarnate)

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Brian Ellis
                  Yup! you are discriminating against someone with a disability about which they can do nothing by accusing them of faulty hygiene.
                  Ah, ok. D'oh!

                  I know it makes no difference now, but I was going to delete that post cause I didn't like what I said, but then you quoted me and it became too late.
                  Titanium is the new bling!
                  (you heard from me first!)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Actually, if you invest and do so much marketing about pouring a glass of water on the keyboard and the laptop not burning, I believe you could also invest in making them sweat-corosive proof.
                    My Logitech UltraX keyboard, just below the right control key suffered from that. Personally, I have bad peripheral circulation and my palms are either cold or sweaty... on a sidenote, I'm the type of person that washes his hands after taking a piss.

                    P.S: not aimed at your remark Zokes, just at the general conception of dirty hands lead to...
                    Last edited by Admiral; 14 June 2006, 07:18.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Admiral
                      P.S: not aimed at your remark Zokes, just at the general conception of dirty hands lead to...
                      I know.

                      Even without doing research, a simple solution is to clear coat the paint on the palmrest, or use silver plastic.

                      My roomate recently bought a MacBook Pro so I'll wait and see what happens to his.
                      Titanium is the new bling!
                      (you heard from me first!)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        For reference, I was just kidding with the "wash your hands" remark.

                        My iBook has slightly dark areas where my palms rest, and obviously, washing your hands or not often has very little to do with the amount of natural oils present.

                        For whatever reason, some people have been able to remove the marks while others haven't, so the problem may be caused by differing conditions that lead to a similar yet varying in treatability.
                        “And, remember: there's no 'I' in 'irony'” ~ Merlin Mann

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Jesterzwild
                          For reference, I was just kidding with the "wash your hands" remark.

                          My iBook has slightly dark areas where my palms rest, and obviously, washing your hands or not often has very little to do with the amount of natural oils present.

                          For whatever reason, some people have been able to remove the marks while others haven't, so the problem may be caused by differing conditions that lead to a similar yet varying in treatability.
                          As with any laptop, your bound to get darker areas wether or not it's a Mac. It's just normal wear on the palmrest. Some Dell's come with replacement palmrests, which isn't such a bad idea come to think about it.
                          Last edited by ZokesPro; 14 June 2006, 08:07.
                          Titanium is the new bling!
                          (you heard from me first!)

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Ah fully aware of that. Figured it was one of those things that we can all safely assume happens. As I said earlier, there have been reports about the current MacBook problem having appeared in non-Mac product lines.

                            I probably should have broken up that mid-sentence given I wasn't trying to make it sound like the spots on my iBook were directly related to the rest. *shrug*
                            “And, remember: there's no 'I' in 'irony'” ~ Merlin Mann

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                            • #15
                              @Jesterwildz: Ah ok, I probably mis-read your post. Is it paint or is that the actual color of the plastic?
                              Titanium is the new bling!
                              (you heard from me first!)

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