Sometimes it is ok to spank your kids

[Dr Mordrid]

I didn't screw bigtime up too often. I did it maybe twice, and each time there was a line of relatives around the block waiting in line for a shot at my backside.

Talk about behavior modification

Dr. Mordrid

[rugger]

Originally posted by dancray
Gurm, you crossed a line you could have easily avoided, but chose the easiest uncreative method of attack - attacking me personally because I dared disagree with you. Rather than talking issues, you call me names.

Now Gurm, why on earth would you care what an "idiot" has to say?

eom

Hey, don't you realize,

Many kids simply don't care aout other people feeling and belongings when they do something naughty or dangerous, and they often don't see the consquences of their actions until it is too late. And often, they do whatever they damned please regardless of our suggestions and what it does to other people, especially if the effects to other people are not immediate.

Explaining things to a child who isn't listening, who will simply forget what you say next time tempatation strikes them, and probably can't even comprehend what you are saying is pointless.

However,

Punishment doesn't seem to work in the short term either. It seems to take a while for punishment to click and stop a child. (multiple reinforcement often required) In the medium term, you may be able to make some changes to a childs behavior, but I wouldn't put too much money on it. You just have to hope your child isn't too much of terror

However (and fortunately), they eventually grow older, realize why the rules exist, and know that they will get punished for breaking them. This is probably why punishment is important, not because you can affect the short to medium term behaviour of a child, but because in the longer term, they realize how things work, and can easily adjust to it.

Of course, I have to say that this is IMO only

As for smacking, it is only one of the many punishments you can give, and it seems to be a nice, consistant (consistant is good) punishment with no nasty long term effects. (as long as you are not doing major physical harm to the child. or overusing it)

Grum, as for the kid throwing a tantrum in the shoping centre, a smack would work well because it quickly asserts your authority over the kid, while letting it know it better stop it now otherwise HELL will expose itself.

[Dr Mordrid]

Yes...consistancy is very important no matter the punishment. Break the pattern and nothing will work.

Dr. Mordrid

[The PIT]

Well I'm thankfull to my parents for teaching me the following.

1) Whats right and wrong.

2) Being polite.

3) Being responsible (If I do something wrong it's my fault not someone elses!!!)

Something else todays kids just don't know how too entertain themselfs. It amazes me how many kids just sit there and say I'm bored over and over again.

[Gurm]

Rugger,

I _know_ smacking a kid on the butt will work well in a crowded shopping center. However, in many areas this will lead to no-good busybody types who think that you are "abusing" your child placing a phone call to social services. I know several people who lost their children for varying lengths of time. One couple I know has never gotten their child back. Their crime? A spanking in public... which the child soundly deserved.

- Gurm

[rugger]

Originally posted by Gurm
Rugger,

I _know_ smacking a kid on the butt will work well in a crowded shopping center. However, in many areas this will lead to no-good busybody types who think that you are "abusing" your child placing a phone call to social services. I know several people who lost their children for varying lengths of time. One couple I know has never gotten their child back. Their crime? A spanking in public... which the child soundly deserved.

- Gurm

I know,

It is highly scary

"Social services" is sort of the secret police of modern society. No real due process, no accountability, and quite unpredictable. I hope I never hear from them

Fortunately, the problem isn't as bad here in australia as it sounds like over there.

[Lizzard[MPE]]

guys guys guys...

don't you think every case depends on each individual you are dealing with? it starts at the exact moment you start raising the kid. spanking or not spanking depends on the person and how you have raised them up into the point they did something bad.


personally, i was never spanked once in my life. .. well. as a kid anyway. hahaha.. ok sorry had too.. anyway... what i'm saying is that ive never been spanked, but i didnt need to be, my mother raised me perfectly in my eyes. We learned all about hardwork, suffering, being kind to others, loss, reward, etc at a very young age. but really it just depends.. cos i myself would have liked to spank the hell outta my niece several times since she has been on this planet.


so you really cant say if spanking is good or bad. cos it is neither or.

[The PIT]

Originally posted by rugger
[Fortunately, the problem isn't as bad here in australia as it sounds like over there. [/B]

Don't worry it will be the do gooders will get you.

[Lizzard[MPE]]

and another thing. i think it all stems from respect. you've got to raise your kids to respect you from earlier on, cos if you dont .. man they will do everything in their power to do wrong against you.

[Gurm]

Lizzie,

I _guarantee_ you were smacked. At least once or twice.

Otherwise you'd have horrific third-degree burns on your hands, and probably be sporting more scars that you currently do.

ALL parents will choose a quick slap over the hot stove. Period.

And you may have been the sort of kid who didn't need to be spanked. Logan has never really warranted a real spanking, and I don't know whether or not he ever will.

A fella I work with's kid, on the other hand, is a little shit - they never EVER smack him, even when they really should. He acts out continually, and nothing they do will help. Of course not - at this point he believes that he's in charge, and ... well ... he is. Want to scream at the top of your lungs for fun, to watch mommy and daddy cringe? Sure, no problem. Want to throw mommy and daddy's expensive things around and break them? Well, now - you get a nice time-out. (Doesn't seem to help, though...) The kid is a poster child for spankings.

- Gurm

[Lizzard[MPE]]

Originally posted by Gurm
Lizzie,

I _guarantee_ you were smacked. At least once or twice.

Otherwise you'd have horrific third-degree burns on your hands, and probably be sporting more scars that you currently do.

ALL parents will choose a quick slap over the hot stove. Period.

- Gurm

ok .. have you been speaking to my mother? that was the one case where i did something bad.. at the age of three i was watching my mom cook and i saw the fire and thought "COOL" i'm sure.. i walked up to it and placed both hands under the pans.. third degree burns... no scars.. but i had to wear bandages and big socks over my hands for months afterward.

well ok.. not perfectly.. i forgot about that incident til you said that.

But anyway.. I know i wasnt spanked as a kid for sure.. spanked or slapped. my other siblings get pissy about that everynow and then.

[rugger]

Originally posted by Gurm

A fella I work with's kid, on the other hand, is a little shit - they never EVER smack him, even when they really should. He acts out continually, and nothing they do will help. Of course not - at this point he believes that he's in charge, and ... well ... he is. Want to scream at the top of your lungs for fun, to watch mommy and daddy cringe? Sure, no problem. Want to throw mommy and daddy's expensive things around and break them? Well, now - you get a nice time-out. (Doesn't seem to help, though...) The kid is a poster child for spankings.

- Gurm

Exactly,

Nothing says "do as you are told, because I am in charge" quite like a smack does. Most other punishments cannot be administered quickly enough with enough effect to enforce that. Once that is hammered into a kid's head (and is basicly hardwired in forever) that you are the boss, the kid would probably require much less punishment in the future, as it will be more likely to respect your requests without question. They will still push the boundarys from time to time though.

Yes, smacking is physical, it is ugly, we don't want to do it, but it works and is more effective than everything else.

[Lizzard[MPE]]

i spank my dog.. but that doesnt seem to work.. she is evil

[High_Jumbllama]

I always thought the way you teach anyone (adult, child, dog) anything (stop at a red light, write on paper not the walls, chew your toys not the furniture) is to apply punishment when the behavior is repeatably disobeyed, indicate the correct behavior, listen/observe to figure out what the other person/pet is thinking, and adjust strategy accordingly. Why is punishment wrong?

Anything else I think has already been said.

[Gurm]

Thank you, High_Jumbllama.

I never advocated beatings for the sake of beatings. I advocate corporal punishment as part of a comprehensive childraising plan, which ALSO involves showing your children every day how much you love them.

- Gurm