Love?

[cbman]

Update.

Still with Wife, She still wants to leave me, will be taking over my own computer shop in a month or two, Friend that I fell in love with is very close still (I see here 3 or 4 times a week for a few hours each time) and we email each other almost every day.

Haven't done anything naughty yet, and don't plan on it.

Its amazing how you think things would change quickly, but I guess they don't.

For me the perfect thing would be to have my wife leave me.

Her reasons would be:

- I don't make enough to support us both at the moment and she doesn't want to put any effort into geting a job.
- She wants kids like now and I know it ain't going to happen, not until I have a stable home/financial situation first.
- She thinks I don't love her anymore, which isn't true, I just love someone else just as much.
- I work 10 hours a day (I love my job) and split the rest of my time between my friend, my wife and the computer. and she doesn't like that I am away all the time. (She knows I visit my friend maybe once every two weeks. The rest of the time I don't let her know about because she complains about the once every two weeks that she does know about.
- I don't have enough money for the important things (Like the bowflex/stairmaster/excersice equipment she saw on an infommercial ($1999 American!!!!) or that diet plan she saw on TV. (Lose 20 pounds in seven days)

And then Devistated, I move in with my friend (She has a spare room she is thinking of renting) and even if nothing comes of it (She says she isn't ready for any kinda relationship since her ex-BF left her for another girl right after she had just had the baby) but she likes company and thinks that the only way to really get to know someone is to live with them. I would at least get to enjoy a great friendship when friendships around here tend to not last very long.

Ok... so I am dreaming.

But definately something is going to change soon... especially when I tell the wife I can't afford the apartment (Due to a rent increase 571 + 200 dollars food a month if not more + 110 dollars for the phone and HighSpeed DSL + 43 dollars for the cable + Pet Food, Credit Card Bills, Student Loan Repayment, Gas, Coffee.

In the end I think it works out to

1200 bucks a month income (At current rate, this is after 20% been set aside for my car fund, and the taxes have come off)

1700 dollars outgoing (If I can defer my student loans for another 6 months I would just have to pay 1400 a month.

Nikki hates that I borrow money from my parents... but she wanted this damn apartment anyways I could live comfortably off of 1200 dollars a month but two people and 3 cats with an apartment... no way. And just think... if I hadn't been forced out of my parents spare room (The wife didn't want to live there anymore because she felt as though we were mooching from them (food, water, the vehicle, hydro) even though I was paying them 300 dollars a month to cover some costs.

If we had stayed there the totals would have looked more like this.

Income $1200

Outcome $500

Big differance....

One of these days I will show the wife the account books... Then I might make her think twice about complaining about money!

Well that pretty much ends my rant for now... more to come later.

[Dilitante1]

thanks for the update, as in the past, I suggested staying away from the "friend" until the wife and you are thru.....others have said the same thing, and yet others say go for it!

you need to sort your life NOW. Priorities need to be set and followed religiously. File for divorce, move back into parents (short-term) till things in court are sorted and protect the business asap....or she'll get it once you get rolling with it because you WERE together as you started it up.....


once you are legally separated, do what you want, but have that paper first before dating, or she'll be able to use anything you do socially against you in court, and it will look as if you gave up for a new woman.....(bad news when alimony payments are calculated).......so, you know what you want to do, but you'll stand a better chance once separated....think about it CB

-pickle

[cbman]

Wise advice from a man with such a strange avatar

I am following everyone's advice from before... but you are very right about the separation thing.

Good thing we have no childern and my boss (AKA Franchiseer) and her husband (Co-owner) understand what I am going through (She has been though something very similar before and lost big time in the finacial area, but won big time by meeting Mr. Boss and he is one of the best people to work for, Plus he is an excellent businessman)... they aren't handing over any part of the business legally until the wife leaves or by some miracle she comes to reality with the situation of our lives as they are.

As soon as this stuff clears up things will be on the up and up.

As it is I won't be able to get the new P card.

Unless I can borrow one from my business (I got my Radeon 7500 that way, and I can get the ultimate one on the premise that I will learn how to do something with it... LOL...)

It shouldn't be too hard to convince myself that its a good investment.